"you know you've made it big when people you don't know hate you."

"inside some of us is a thin person struggling to get out, but they can usually be sedated with a few pieces of chocolate cake."
- Anonymous

"Weight management has to be an uncompromising, non-negotiable, everyday thing, like brushing your teeth"
Linda Spangle, 100 Days of Weight Loss

Sunday, September 28, 2008

more and more cupcakes (and cookies)

and you guys think i cant possibly get any more cupcakes right? or that i should actually have enough of them?

here's the thing. i spent my last 2 nights over at my mamacits. sleepovers at her place always equals food overload but this time, with her reputation as cupcake maker extraordinaire and busy baking to meet clients' orders.. its now cupcake overload.

because i sleepover, i can do up my cupcakes any way i want. she's got bowlfuls of frosting and i help myself to them. i take a chocolate cupcake and pile it up with vanilla frosting and peanut butter icing. i take a peanut butter cupcake and add cream cheese icing with oreos. and the list goes on.

such are the possibilities. it was like having my own cupcake bar. and i also got to practise on applying the frosting and of course, having not succeeded and rendering it un-sale-able, i proceed to devour the 'mistake' i made.

of course all this has taken such an all time high of sugar intake in my diet. and i didnt even go to the gym...

but so what? soon i'll be leaving and there wont be anymore citscakes. so im enjoying it while it lasts. in the meantime, yes my weight has gone slightly up (in just TWO DAYS!) but i have a pre-raya workout plan. its intensive yoga and pilates these next two days before hari raya. and i definitely feel sluggish after all the cupcakes i've had. so time to UP to stamina =)

anyhoo, raya is around the corner, so i'd like to wish each and every one of u guys selamat hari raya, maaf zahir dan batin.

much love,
be'ah xoxo <---- pasal aku suka gossipgirl. haha.

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

more cupcakes

as the title suggests.. i bought more cupcakes from mamacits.

i took a nap ystrdy patang and somehow, i had this urge to go check her blog as soon as i woke up. in my groggy state, i typed in her web address skali lo and behold! she's selling extra cupcakes!

my not-fully-awake-self automatically reached for the phone to book one (of only two!!) box of the cupcakes.

and my timing was just right. she just posted the post mere minutes b4 i texted about the extra cupcakes.

nyahahaha. so yea, now i've tried her peanut butter cupcakes. a bit too rich for my liking because the frosting is peanut butter-flavoured but nda ku menyasal membali! she says the peanut butter ones are her best-selling ones yatah i wanted to try. maybe if i didnt exercise so much i wud've liked them even more. so far, my favourite flavour are her smores. super duper yummy!

anyhoo, it hasnt sink in yet that i'm leaving next week. instead, i'm more gearing up for raya. went to the dentist today for my regular check-up and per usual, i asked for a clean-up ie scaling.

dentist: why do u want to clean ur teeth? ur teeth are already so white!
me: really? but i like having my teeth cleaned. plus i'm paranoid about my teeth.
dentist: you dont smoke and you dont drink coffee. yes your teeth are white.
me: but we can still clean my teeth right?
dentist: yes of course. open wide!

haha apakan. i felt like a 5 yr old again when he said 'open wide' atu. but yea, he said my teeth are white! and clean too. and to think i was worried that my teeth were starting to yellow. true that i dont smoke and i avoid coffee when i can, but i love tea and tea stains teeth as much as coffee so the dentist's pronouncement that my teeth are white and clean is such a relief!

thats why i love going to the dentist. no, not the compliments (altho they are, of course, a bonus) but its the professional opinion i get. i also love getting my teeth professionally cleaned. its like, gearing up for hari raya la tu. ppl go for facials, haircuts manis and pedis but for me, its the dentist first!

and yes, i am paranoid abt my teeth, i worry they will fall out when i reach old age (thanx to my constant sugar-high diet) or go yellow on me or a million other reasons. obviously, my concerns are more for vanity's sake than health's sake, but hey, they're interrelated so wahetever makes me jaga my teeth is good with me.

(altho i do hate flossing. lol)

have a good last week of ramadhan everyone. get ur teeth checked!

much love,
be'ah xxxxxxxxx

Monday, September 22, 2008

cupcake day!

i indulged myself today.

i had an overload of sugar attack, courtesy of my mamacits' (increasingly) famous cupcakes.

me hads the smores and the red velvet. yummmyyyy~ skali when i came to pick them up, they were fresh fresh fresh out of the oven and still piping hot and oh-em-gee the smell was just heavenly! and all the frosting she had in big bowls! cream cheese! vanilla! peanut butter!

aaagh.. kalau bukan puasa i wud've licked each and every bowl and spoon.

(haha. mcmtah ia suruh. untuk d jual kali ah cupcakes aah)

anyhoo, i was saying. the smores were absolutely deelish. crumbly and soft and oh so chocolatey and yummy. and the red velvet is an all-time fave. first time in a long time i ate without actually thinking i need to burn off the calories when i next visit the gym. after amani said i am 'tiny like isham', i can afford to put on a few pounds.

hee.

the sugar rush makes me all hyper. too bad mamacits doesnt accept orders anymore. she has her hands full with orders all the way through first week of raya. and she works alone too.

but at least she's earning money. hehe.

yummy yummy smores. i am rambling. but a burden has been lifted off my chest. i found a housemate =)

oh, and the idea of buying a new pink fone makes me all fuzzy. finally a purchase thats practical rather than just based on frivolous impulses.

i sooo LOVE mamacits' smores cupcakes!

much love,
be'ah xxxxxxxxx

tickle me pink

kelmarin i was all mental-y (read: bad mood to the baddest of the worst to high heavens), scolding my brothers left and right for the smallest things and snapping at even the slightest question from anyone who dared approached me with something silly.

all because i cannot find my other phone, which has my uk sim card in it.

it has mysteriously dissapeared from my side table drawer, despite never having been opened since june when i put the phone in there for safety's sake (because nobody opens that drawer.)

but then i started thinking. no sim card means i need to get a new one.

sooooo......

why dont i get a new phone while im at it?
(and this is not me throwing away money. the uk has great deals on sim cards plus phones)

naturally i want a pink one.

but i'm torn between these two.

the sony ericsson w580i


or

the samsung u600 (and it says its exlusive?)


both are priced the same AND they're both just a gorgeous shade of pink, dontcha think? me thinks im more inclined towards the sony one tho... hee =D

how simple it is to make me un-mental.

much love,
be'ah xxxxxxxxxx

p/s i havent gone to the gym for two days...

Friday, September 19, 2008

Proud Mama

guess who i saw ystrdy???

the uber-adorable Hana Banana Munchachakins!!!

i dont have pictures of her. i was too preoccupied and distracted by her adorableness. lol.

i felt like a proud mama when i saw her. she's the cousin who was born in london last year so i got to see loads of her when i babysat for her. and i first saw her when she was just a mere 3 weeks old.. and now she's walking and talking and bouncing. hee. to see her grow from such an itty bitty baby (she was sooo petite as a baby!) into a tall toddler (thank god she got her dad's tall genes and not her mum's/my not-so-tall genes) is tres wonderful!

she wasnt so bouncy ystrdy tho cause she just woke up from a nap.. but she was adorable nevertheless! and she can give flying kisses!! i shud've visited her more often now that we're both in brunei!

u guys prolly dont knw who i'm talking about and all this is gibber jabber to u.. but i've mentioned her wayyyy back when i first saw her. and there were pictures then too. so if u remember that post (which i cant be bothered to link here), put that face in a smiley baby with hair in two braids.

all together now..

'awwwwwwwww kiyyut juaaa!!!'

hehe. apakan. i'm kinda hyper. its the stress i tell u. oh, and i got my hair permed again. curly hair makes me bouncy. lol.

did pilates today. and with a bigger and much heavier exercise ball. i was struggling to keep the huge ball between my legs; sudahtah kaki ku pindik, pakai bula xtra basar lgi tu. but then, rose was teaching and she has short legs too so if she can hold the ball between her legs, then i can too!

talk about a random post. which i believe i havent been doing in a while.

oh oh, one more last thing.

have u guys tried the kueh malaya/apam balik with chocolate chips? it is DIVINE! sugar attack obviously, what with the sugar and susu manis and choc rice and crush nuts but do i care?

no. bekos i got my yoga and pilates. my yogalates. apanyaa.. mcm madonna kan be yogalates.

tis stress i tell u. and ya think ppl who exercise dont suffer from stress hah? if someone can magically conjure a girl housemate for me, only then my stress will dissapear.

much love,
be'ah xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

yoga on empty tummy

feels fab =)

granted, first time i did yoga while fasting, i was knackered out the moment i reached home and took a nap instead of a shower first thing i got back.

(ewww. i knw. all sweaty poo and i tidur first)

but then again, that day i did some runs on the treadmill out of habit's sake. my usual rountine is 30mins elliptical/treadmill, weights then yoga or pilates. so with ramadhan, i have to cut back on my cardio. obviously i was being my usual pushy self, thinking im some sort of wonderwoman who can do the same strenuous rigorous workout without having to eat/drink. mcm apakan aku ah. walaupun gila gym.

so i've lessened my weights reps and running at most is for 5mins. or i brisk walk for 30mins. just enough to get my heart pumping and myself glowing [with sweat] before doing yoga or pilates.

now i know what i can and can't do while fasting so i wont be sprawled on the bed the moment i get home. honestly, if it werent for ramadhan i don't think i'd ever feel so in tune with how my body moves during yoga because i'd be busy guzzling water but now, its like WOW. total rediscovery.

(now i can do the headstand and the Crow better. and i FINALLY can do the vinyasa/crocodile properly!)

i've mentioned before that yoga is supposed to be done on an empty stomache but i've never really heeded that piece of advice because i'd be doing cardio first and i'd need water to keep me going right. but gee, now that i've done yoga like this, its like

'why did i not listen before?'

just shows you really don't know whats good for you till you try it.

sigh. wonders of ramadhan, ey?

only thing i'm worried of is losing my muscle mass what with me cutting out my strength training to almost nil. and my arms were already showing definition!

oh well oh well. puasa comes first, of course. maybe i'm better off with flabby arms anyway. if i have super defined and toned arms kan d apa jua? bukannya org kan meliat. huhu.

that's all for now. i knooow right. time puasa anie pun kan cakap pasal gym. haha.

much love,
be'ah xxxxxxxxxxx

Monday, September 15, 2008

brothers

a recent conversation with my youngest brother:

'ka, abgmali handsome kah?'

'awu la. handsome berabis'

'haha. abgmali kerabau!'

'ah? apakan lai?'

'nda.. abg muaz [brother4] bagitau alai handsome dlm spain kerabau ertinya abgmali kerabau.'

buleeeh ia kana bagitau handsome in spanish is kerabau? on top of that, he believed it because now he doesnt want to call himself handsome, unlike the countless times he would randomly call out 'alai handsome'.

handsome=kerabau. wat next huh?

oh, yoga during ramadhan is fantastic! makes my tummy tighter; or at least i feel like its tighter than norm. will do an extensive post on yoga soon.

much love,
be'ah xxxx

Saturday, September 13, 2008

i love..

been feeling a bit under the weather coz its finally sinking in that i'll be leaving soon. so to make myself feel better, i'm listing out some of the things i love =)



dark chocolate

i know some ppl find it bitter.. but i love how its bitter yet sweet at the same time. plus, if it helps with my diet (its an anti-oxidant and wayy less calories than milk choc), why not?






babies
happy smiley bouncy babies. even those crying ones, as long as they stop crying after feeding/changing/sleep (haha ada lgi tu). toddlers included as well. basically kids that i can still pick up and carry in my arms/on my hips.









gorgeous perfume bottles
i have a few that i dont use but i bought them just bcoz the bottles are nice. like my JPG summer edition perfume hehe. daisy is next on the list. i love love the plastic daisies on the bottle!







(virgin) pina colada
its funny. i dont like pineapple or coconut juice on its own but u combine the two and its just MAGIC! villa mauri does an absolutely orgasmic version with vanilla ice-cream. yum! granted the calories are WAY high, but we're not counting calories are we?







friends getting engaged/married
yes, im jealous. but i AM really happy for these friends because i know how much they've wanted it and now thats its happening, i get all excited and buzzed up as if I'M the one getting married. haha munie can bear witness to this. i guess makin ramai my friends kawin shows that my turn is around the corner? insyaAllah =)





toned arms
when i can wave bye-bye without my flabby triceps following suit..





hugs
pre-requites are squishy non-sweating ppl. bonus are fat and nice-smelling ones. a good hug should last more that a couple of seconds and preferably tall should i decide to bawl on hugged person's shoulder (which isnt a hard thing reli, considering im only 5ft tall).


u wnna be on top? hahahaha one of my guilty pleasures. i knw the show's ratings have gone down but i love love watching it despite getting annoyed with the judges and the comments they give. i mean, how EXACTLY do u smile with your eyes?



much love,
be'ah xxx

Monday, September 8, 2008

but i don't wanna go...

i have been enjoying my summer immensely.

for the first time ever, i DONT feel lazy or lethargic nor do i want to rush back to writing essays and going to lectures despite the long long holiday.

must be the gym, ey?

i'm flying back on the 5th of october.

i want hari raya to come soon so i can see everyone, but i dont want it to come so soon either coz it means i only have a couple of days left in brunei.

i wanna take my mum, my boyfriend and my gym trainer to UK please.

and i want it to be less cold this winter.

and can i just wear pyjamas on my flight back?

Thursday, September 4, 2008

Plan B

this post is dedicated to FarahHA yg merasa boring d bulan yang mulia ini. altho this post has nothing to do with her, d harap isi kandungan ini dpt d manfaatkan nya dengan sebaiknya apabila menjadi mahasiswi d Belfast nanti. (ceeewaaah mcm buat speech untuk kursus civic.)

i went to the gym this morning.

evidently i cant just (sort of) let myself go this ramadhan.

but i am only human. i only stopped by the gym to check whether entry really is FREE during puasa (and if not, i was gonna get myself a 15day gym pass) and lo and behold, IT IS!

exclusive to non members only plg since members would have already paid their membership fee. but as my membership card expired last sunday, i'm technically a non-member, or in the words of rose 'an inactive member' which is essentially the same thing.

pokok pangkalnya im still going to the gym.

just.
because.
its.
FREE!

but yea i wont be doing any weights or steps class. just some yoga and pilates will do, which the lazy turtle encouraged me to do. i had to check with ka alin tho how it felt to do yoga time puasa. i know lazy turtle said it felt great but shes a true inside out yogini so mebbe its just her kan. hee. i met ka alin tdi and she said yoga felt great despite fasting so HURRAY thats my green light!

the problem now is adjusting my sleeping pattern. time puasa anie, like most ppl i tend to take long afternoon naps and only wake up for prayers and my chauffeur duties. so it'll be a new thing for me to wake up early after alredi being up 2hrs b4 for sahur.

im sure i can manage tho. especially since the gym is FREE.

i love saying free. haha. bah ramai2x tah dtg ke FZ time puasa anie. do a bit of yoga and pilates to keep ur figure lest u cant fit into ur baju raya!

and i still have a few sessions with rose left. imma do them when its the time of the month so i wont be dehydrated during the workout. plus, only this morning i realised how far ive come with weights training - my arms are toned! well, not toned in any jennifer garner or angelina jolie way, but way much much more toned than before i started strength training and its finally showing. so yayyy for me!

anyhoo, going to the gym during puasa is my sikrit plan. sorry to dissapoint if u guys expected something more dishy hehe but coming from me, what can u expect? its like i eat live and breathe for the gym lol.

oh, im still waiting for mamacits to give me her greenlight on when i can have her cupcakes! last2x tunggu raya tah jua nie~ but i'll be thre early supaya i get my fair share. hah!

illah says ur smores cupcakes are yummy. i hope u have cupcakes masa ur open hse! or the very least, for ur nieces and nephews!


see how i jump from gym to cupcakes? tsk.

much love,
be'ah xxxxxxxx

UPDATE:
rose just texted me and im only entitled to the free gym pass if i renew my membership next month. soo... imma get meself a 15days pass.

but non members can still come for free i tink.

Wednesday, September 3, 2008

my sikrit plan

thank you to the Panyu Malas for giving me the little nudge i need.

hee. speaking of which, i cant do a proper lazy turtle. my arms just wont go out straight.

anyhoo, i will tell all about my plan tomorrow once it gets underway.

in the meantime, jaga2x nafsu segala nafsu! time puasa anie kalau sudah kan sungkai, macam2x tah kan d bali tu d gerai and then u get back home and cant even finish all u bought.

tis one of the fundamental rules of dieting. never ever go grocery shopping when ur hungry 'cause u buy more unnecessary stuff. so save duit atu untuk kawin.

(what u say? a few dollars wont make a difference in the wedding fund? yes it will! it adds on to one more campur and we all know bruneians love to take more than their share of campurs at weddings. or maybe its just the weddings i go to.)

have in mind that ur parut shrinks during the day bcoz of fasting, so a smaller portion than usual is needed. jgn gelojoh yes? just because u havent eaten all day doesnt mean u need to eat 2 portions (or more) at sungkai.

its already the 2nd day of puasa and i've run out of ideas for sungkai dishes. being lady of the house is payah when u have 9 different appetites and tastebuds to please. thank God my momma is coming home tonight.


oh, one more thing. di bulan yg mulia ini, i am hired once again as chauffeur for the yayasan brothers. back to regular driving then. i was already comfy being driven around by the boyfren. who already starts work anyway.

mmbah. till the next post of my secret plan. nyahahahahahaha.

much love,
be'ah

Monday, September 1, 2008

Au Revoir FZ

the time has come for me to bid goodbye to my (almost) daily dose of workouts at the gym.

tomorrow is the first day of puasa and however much i'd like to continue going to the gym, it just isn't an option to workout in a food deprived state. i can go after tarawih prayers but i just dont see myself going to the gym at 9pm. plus, my bedtime's at 10pm lol.

so today i had my last and final gym session and PT with rose and to celebrate with a bang, i went to the kiulap branch. that gym always intimidates me (psl its lgi canggih dari mall kali? and more ppl go there?) but today, with rose around, it was brilliant! it was only my 3rd time there today and the 2 previous times were to use the hall to play badminton.. so i was pretty sakai with all the spiffy and much more canggih gym stuff they have there. even tried the rock-climbing wall lol.

today was like saying goodbye to a very good old friend. after a quickie body conditioning class with timmy, rose made me go on the treadmill for a bit and then i went and tried out all the spiffy weight machines they have as opposed to doing the dumbbells workout i do at the mall. we managed to climb a few metres up the rock-climbing wall (super duper fun i tell you!) and then some stretching, where rose practicaly pulled my arms off =p

then i discovered that the gym has a food bar! with ice cream!!! and cookies!!

i was all sakai abt it and told rose about it. she said 'of course la. after exercise, u feel good u eat ice cream la'

0-o this is coming from my trainer who just last week said (indirectly) parutku labu!

then she said the ice cream was there for ppl who wanted some mixed in with their protein shakes. oh my gee i was sooo sakai at the food choices and all. after a quick shower i sat down with rose for some ice cream and cookies, kinda like a farewell thingamajig i suppose. hey, at least i had the food with rose, so anytime tyres start to appear around my midriff again, imma be blaming her!

i also had my last examination today -ie the magic machine that tells how fat i am. the kiulap one's was more canggih with some bars for me to hold.. i got excited all over again that rose had to tell me to stay still twice. mcm apakan aku ah.. nda pernah ke gym kali pakah lol. but seriously, it was all so new to me i felt like i just rediscovered myself!

awu, sakai to the max bah.

anyhoo, my last exam turned out great! well, my fitness level is still buruk compared to pre singapore, btu i'll work on that after puasa. i found out my left leg is fatter than my right leg.. like, my left leg carries more fat mass that the right one. which explains why my right is stronger than the other. rose says its normal plg. but i am happy to say that both my arms carry equal fat ie my arms are equally strong! woo hoo. rose said 'wow' at this so im guessing its not normal. haha but yea. all the numbers on the paper that came out of the machine looked good so i'm happy to just (sort of) let myself go this ramadhan.

i said in a previous post anyway that i'm just gonna depend on puasa for weight management. plus, theres tarawih prayers, which will be like yoga anyway.

speaking of which, i skipped yoga today to do PT with rose and in the locker room found from the aunties that will was looking for me. in the words of ka alin 'will sed u dont sayang him nomore'

haha. man, im so attached to everyone and everything related to the gym. im gonna miss rose with her never-faltering smile, wills with his stern look when i do something wrong, lyza with her 'i fell fat' and michelle's calm voice and all the aunties i see every morning! oh well, till next year.

might as well get the most out of ramadhan kan. selamat berpuasa everybodeh! see u guys d gerai ramadhan (hehehe) or better, d masjid if we happen to terawih at the same place.

much much love,
be'ah xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx