i dont knw how many of u guys actually read my long-ass supposedly tear-jerking post titled 'just a heartbeat apart' but for those who do, i apologise and thank u for putting up with my emo self. no, its not the look-at-me-i-wanna-slit-my-wrists type of emo but its the dont-look-at-me-i've-got-bloodshot-eyes-from-crying-all-nite emo. i find it really annoying how i can cry at the merest mention of being away from him, not seeing him but how i can still stay stony-faced and actually feel, get this, annoyed at silly sappy movies like, dare i say it.. the notebook.
there. i've confessed. sorry to all u notebook fans but i seriously find that movie annoying rather than heart-wretching. ditto to a walk to remember. the latter didnt even make sense to me. how can u fall in love with a polar opposite of urself in mere days? okay, i fail to mention that its an adaptation of a book and naturally bits and pieces were cut out to accommodate the movie to a decent time frame. but still, the movie annoys me.
so to what movies do i cry to? hmm.. i'm weird in this sense coz sometimes i cry to the most typical love scenes but laugh out loud in other typical love scenes; then theres the fact that i cry at movies that ur not supposed to (or typically) cry to, like how i cried in ice age 1 when the baby gets back safely to the dad and had to part with the sabre-tooth tiger, mammoth and that annoying lil' sloth looaklike. mind u, i cried in pasrah (cringe moment. i never wanted to admit that but here i am) and titanic and also armageddon and moulin rouge and i also cried bucket loads in my bestfriend's wedding.
anyhoo, other than justifying how weird i am for telling the whole world wide web to which movies i cry, i reli dont knw how i got thre. oh yes, i was talking about how emo i can get. i just spent the last couple of hours crying my eyes out bcoz the sayang (thats bee's nickname for him which i've decided to use) was suppose to leave for UK an hour ago. well, his flight got delayed by 6hrs. so thres a few more precious hours where i can squeeze skype time with him before he flies off. he'll be gone for abt a week and i dont knw what else, besides going to the gym and working out myself silly, to do during his absence.
i tink i just answered my unspoken question. of course i'm gonna workout, get to that ideal weight i wanted so by the time he comes back he'll find a sexier, more gorgeous me. that'll keep him from straying. not that he ever had a tendency nor even the usual male instinct to stray. but u know.
i'm babbling. i'm gonna miss him so much. dear friends, please take me out and save me from working myself out to skin and bones.
hah. like that'll happen.
i wanna get married.
did i scare u? sorry. yes, im babbling. i miss u.
Sunday, July 29, 2007
Wednesday, July 25, 2007
the significant other
happy 23rd birthday my love.
i love this picture of u best. hope u enjoy today and like what i gave u. mwah.
be'ah
xxxx
p/s and many happy returns also goes to pablo. gudluck down under. time will fly once u really get down to work and settle in. thats how it was for me, anyway =)
i love this picture of u best. hope u enjoy today and like what i gave u. mwah.
be'ah
xxxx
p/s and many happy returns also goes to pablo. gudluck down under. time will fly once u really get down to work and settle in. thats how it was for me, anyway =)
just a heartbeat apart
ur leaving soon. i cant bear to think about it actually. the past couple of months seemed too good to be true. i remember i was just as excited and ecstatic at the prospect of seeing u as much as i was going to see my family. i cried those nights when i miss u most, especially when i remember how u would comfort me and make me feel better. u are always there for me, despite the distance and time difference - but i still missed u so. i had butterflies in my stomach the first time i was about to see u this year.
i was excited and nervous. its amazing how i can still feel that way after so long. and when i saw u, it just felt right. everything was back into place; hearing ur voice, seeing u, laughing and joking, all without the help of a laptop screen. it was bliss. and u remained the same and u didnt change. in fact, i think u just loved me more with each passing day. thats how i feel about u every time i see u. our time apart didnt tarnish our relationship; we loved each other as lovers would love each other. it has been the same since day one. u have always put up with my tantrums, my cutting remarks and as always, i wonder what i did to deserve such a good person in my life. i was in heaven. i was so happy that i pushed aside the nagging feeling that kept telling me our time together won't last.
i ignored the possibility that u might leave me sooner than how we anticipated; i was happy, i didnt want to think about it. but then that possibility turned into reality. u'll be leaving me soon, and our time together will be cut short by 2 months. 2 months is a long time enough to spend apart. even one week apart is hell. but add that to the additional 8 mths when i have to leave - no words can describe how upset and vulnerable and lost i will feel. in fact, i've been feeling all that already; u'll be leaving for a week, and then we'll have just another week before fate snatches u right from the palm of my hands again.
but its okay. i know ur pursuing ur dream and u have to do what u have to do, and i know that u know i'm doing the same thing when the time comes for me to leave. we both understand that if given a choice, we would put off the time to be apart for as long as possible. but that choice is not ours to make. we're both in this for our future, to make better lives out of our future. insyaAllah, if fate permits us to have our futures entwined, then we will be securing the future for our children. but for the time being, it hard to think of the future with the horrible fact of u leaving me looming near. i try so hard to be strong for u. i tried keeping the tears to myself but somehow the tears almost always manage to come when when im least expecting it.
i just feel lost without u by my side. when ur with me, and i wonder when the 'next time' is, i feel lost. so lost than i try so hard to hold back tears that i dont even feel ur hand on my hand. i know this is tough for u too and i'm trying my best to make it easy for u. i know we'll get through this. we always do. its just a hard and difficult process to go through. i knw i said i'm okay with u leaving early, and i am bcoz it means that when we can be together for real, u'll always be home, not zipping off to foreign land every week for days. this way, i know that u'll always be home at night and i know that when i get off a tiring day at work, at the end of it i'll see u and i'll be in ur arms and that is what keeps me going.
for now, we're gonna be apart again, and i know we both feel this huge sense of lost but i also know that we can both get over this. what doesnt kill us makes us stronger. the many hardships we've faced together will and did make us stronger. so this is goodbye, a premature goodbye that we both didnt expect. but we know its not the end. becoz we will both see each other again and i am looking forward to the time when we dont have to say goodbye anymore, when we can have our happily ever after.
the 3 words, always said, seemed insignificant and insufficient to describe how i feel for u now. but u, always sensitive and understanding; i know that u'll understand and knw what i really wanted to say. i love u, with every fibre of my being.
this song's for u.
it opens with:
It feels like a fire that burns in my heart
Every single moment that we spend apart
oh how painfully true that is!
i was excited and nervous. its amazing how i can still feel that way after so long. and when i saw u, it just felt right. everything was back into place; hearing ur voice, seeing u, laughing and joking, all without the help of a laptop screen. it was bliss. and u remained the same and u didnt change. in fact, i think u just loved me more with each passing day. thats how i feel about u every time i see u. our time apart didnt tarnish our relationship; we loved each other as lovers would love each other. it has been the same since day one. u have always put up with my tantrums, my cutting remarks and as always, i wonder what i did to deserve such a good person in my life. i was in heaven. i was so happy that i pushed aside the nagging feeling that kept telling me our time together won't last.
i ignored the possibility that u might leave me sooner than how we anticipated; i was happy, i didnt want to think about it. but then that possibility turned into reality. u'll be leaving me soon, and our time together will be cut short by 2 months. 2 months is a long time enough to spend apart. even one week apart is hell. but add that to the additional 8 mths when i have to leave - no words can describe how upset and vulnerable and lost i will feel. in fact, i've been feeling all that already; u'll be leaving for a week, and then we'll have just another week before fate snatches u right from the palm of my hands again.
but its okay. i know ur pursuing ur dream and u have to do what u have to do, and i know that u know i'm doing the same thing when the time comes for me to leave. we both understand that if given a choice, we would put off the time to be apart for as long as possible. but that choice is not ours to make. we're both in this for our future, to make better lives out of our future. insyaAllah, if fate permits us to have our futures entwined, then we will be securing the future for our children. but for the time being, it hard to think of the future with the horrible fact of u leaving me looming near. i try so hard to be strong for u. i tried keeping the tears to myself but somehow the tears almost always manage to come when when im least expecting it.
i just feel lost without u by my side. when ur with me, and i wonder when the 'next time' is, i feel lost. so lost than i try so hard to hold back tears that i dont even feel ur hand on my hand. i know this is tough for u too and i'm trying my best to make it easy for u. i know we'll get through this. we always do. its just a hard and difficult process to go through. i knw i said i'm okay with u leaving early, and i am bcoz it means that when we can be together for real, u'll always be home, not zipping off to foreign land every week for days. this way, i know that u'll always be home at night and i know that when i get off a tiring day at work, at the end of it i'll see u and i'll be in ur arms and that is what keeps me going.
for now, we're gonna be apart again, and i know we both feel this huge sense of lost but i also know that we can both get over this. what doesnt kill us makes us stronger. the many hardships we've faced together will and did make us stronger. so this is goodbye, a premature goodbye that we both didnt expect. but we know its not the end. becoz we will both see each other again and i am looking forward to the time when we dont have to say goodbye anymore, when we can have our happily ever after.
the 3 words, always said, seemed insignificant and insufficient to describe how i feel for u now. but u, always sensitive and understanding; i know that u'll understand and knw what i really wanted to say. i love u, with every fibre of my being.
this song's for u.
it opens with:
It feels like a fire that burns in my heart
Every single moment that we spend apart
oh how painfully true that is!
Tuesday, July 24, 2007
Perbezaan lelaki dan wanita dalam Islam
i found this on frenster, a fren posted this bulletin and i think this is worth sharing =)
LELAKI
Lelaki bujang kena tanggung dosa sendiri apabila sudah baligh manakala dosa gadis bujang ditanggung oleh bapanya.
Lelaki berkahwin kena tanggung dosa sendiri, dosa isteri, dosa anak perempuan yang belum berkahwin dan dosa anak lelaki yang belum baligh.
BERATKAN?
Hukum menjelaskan anak lelaki kena bertanggungjawab ke atas ibunya dan sekiranya dia tidak menjalankan tanggungjawabnya maka dosa baginya terutama anak lelaki yang tua, manakala perempuan tidak, perempuan hanya perlu taat kepada suaminya. Isteri berbuat baik pahala dapat kepadanya kalau buat tak baik dosanya ditanggung oleh suaminya.
BERATKAN??
Suami kena bagi nafkah pada isteri, ini wajib tapi isteri tidak. Walaupun begitu isteri boleh membantu.Haram bagi suami bertanya pendapatan isteri lebih-lebih lagi menggunakan pendapatan isteri tanpa izin ini. Banyak lagi lelaki lebih-lebih lagi yang bergelar suami perlu tanggung.
Kalau nak dibayangkan beratnya dosa-dosa yang ditanggungnya seperti gunung dengan semut. Itu sebabnya mengikut kajian nyawa orang perempuan lebih panjang daripada lelaki. Lelaki mati cepat kerana tak larat dengan beratnya dosa-dosa yang ditanggung(ikut kajian laa..)
Tetapi orang lelaki ada keistimewaannya yang dianugerah oleh Allah SWT. Ini orang lelaki kena tahu, kalau tak tahu kena jadi perempuan. Begitulah kira-kiranya.
WANITA
Auratnya lebih susah dijaga berbanding lelaki. Perlu meminta izin dari suaminya apabila mahu keluar rumah tetapi tidak sebaliknya. Saksinya kurang berbanding lelaki (seorang saksi lelaki menyamai dgn lebih seorang saksi perempuan).
Menerima pusaka kurang dari lelaki.
Perlu menghadapi kesusahan mengandung dan melahirkan anak.
Wajib taat kepada suaminya tetapi suami tak perlu taat pada isterinya.
Talak terletak di tangan suami dan bukan isteri.
Wanita kurang dalam beribadat kerana masalah haid dan nifas yang tak ada pada lelaki.
Pernahkah kita lihat sebaliknya?
Benda yang mahal harganya akan dijaga dan dibelai serta disimpan di tempat yang tersorok dan selamat. Sudah pasti intan permata tidak akan dibiar bersepah-sepah bukan? Itulah bandingannya dengan seorang wanita.
Wanita perlu taat kepada suami tetapi lelaki wajib taat kepada ibunya 3 kali
lebih utama dari bapanya.Bukankah ibu adalah seorang wanita?
Wanita menerima pusaka kurang dari lelaki tetapi harta itu menjadi milik
peribadinya dan tidak perlu diserahkan kepada suaminya, manakala lelaki
menerima pusaka perlu menggunakan hartanya untuk menyara isteri dan anak-anak.
Wanita perlu bersusah payah mengandung dan melahirkan anak, tetapi setiap
saat dia didoakan oleh segala haiwan, malaikat dan seluruh makhluk ALLAH di
mukabumi ini, dan matinya jika kerana melahirkan adalah syahidkecil. Manakala dosanya diampun
ALLAH (dosa kecil).
Di akhirat kelak, seorang lelaki akan
dipertanggungjawabkan terhadap 4
wanita ini:
isterinya, ibunya, anak perempuannya
dan saudara perempuannya.
Manakala seorang wanita pula, tanggungjawab
terhadapnya ditanggung oleh 4
org lelaki ini: suaminya,ayahnya, anak lelakinya
dan saudara
lelakinya.
Seorang wanita boleh memasuki pintu Syurga melalui mana-mana pintu Syurga yg disukainya cukup dengan 4 syarat sahaja:
sembahyang 5 waktu, puasa
di bulan Ramadhan, taat suaminya dan menjaga
kehormatannya.
Seorang lelaki perlu pergi berjihad fisabilillah
tetapi wanita jika taat akan suaminya serta menunaikan
tanggungjawabnya kepada ALLAH akan turut
menerima pahala seperti pahala orang pergi berperang fisabilillah tanpa perlu mengangkat senjata.
MasyaALLAH...sayangnya ALLAH pada wanita .... Seorang wanita adalah pelengkap dan sememangnya istimewa di sisi seorang lelaki, tetapi ingatlah wahai lelaki...kamu sebenarnya adalah istimewa disisi Allah, maka dengan sebab itu DIA mengangkat kamu menjadi pemimpin...maka dengan keistimewaan itu,
JAGALAH dan HARGAILAH wanita sebaik-baiknya.
LELAKI
Lelaki bujang kena tanggung dosa sendiri apabila sudah baligh manakala dosa gadis bujang ditanggung oleh bapanya.
Lelaki berkahwin kena tanggung dosa sendiri, dosa isteri, dosa anak perempuan yang belum berkahwin dan dosa anak lelaki yang belum baligh.
BERATKAN?
Hukum menjelaskan anak lelaki kena bertanggungjawab ke atas ibunya dan sekiranya dia tidak menjalankan tanggungjawabnya maka dosa baginya terutama anak lelaki yang tua, manakala perempuan tidak, perempuan hanya perlu taat kepada suaminya. Isteri berbuat baik pahala dapat kepadanya kalau buat tak baik dosanya ditanggung oleh suaminya.
BERATKAN??
Suami kena bagi nafkah pada isteri, ini wajib tapi isteri tidak. Walaupun begitu isteri boleh membantu.Haram bagi suami bertanya pendapatan isteri lebih-lebih lagi menggunakan pendapatan isteri tanpa izin ini. Banyak lagi lelaki lebih-lebih lagi yang bergelar suami perlu tanggung.
Kalau nak dibayangkan beratnya dosa-dosa yang ditanggungnya seperti gunung dengan semut. Itu sebabnya mengikut kajian nyawa orang perempuan lebih panjang daripada lelaki. Lelaki mati cepat kerana tak larat dengan beratnya dosa-dosa yang ditanggung(ikut kajian laa..)
Tetapi orang lelaki ada keistimewaannya yang dianugerah oleh Allah SWT. Ini orang lelaki kena tahu, kalau tak tahu kena jadi perempuan. Begitulah kira-kiranya.
WANITA
Auratnya lebih susah dijaga berbanding lelaki. Perlu meminta izin dari suaminya apabila mahu keluar rumah tetapi tidak sebaliknya. Saksinya kurang berbanding lelaki (seorang saksi lelaki menyamai dgn lebih seorang saksi perempuan).
Menerima pusaka kurang dari lelaki.
Perlu menghadapi kesusahan mengandung dan melahirkan anak.
Wajib taat kepada suaminya tetapi suami tak perlu taat pada isterinya.
Talak terletak di tangan suami dan bukan isteri.
Wanita kurang dalam beribadat kerana masalah haid dan nifas yang tak ada pada lelaki.
Pernahkah kita lihat sebaliknya?
Benda yang mahal harganya akan dijaga dan dibelai serta disimpan di tempat yang tersorok dan selamat. Sudah pasti intan permata tidak akan dibiar bersepah-sepah bukan? Itulah bandingannya dengan seorang wanita.
Wanita perlu taat kepada suami tetapi lelaki wajib taat kepada ibunya 3 kali
lebih utama dari bapanya.Bukankah ibu adalah seorang wanita?
Wanita menerima pusaka kurang dari lelaki tetapi harta itu menjadi milik
peribadinya dan tidak perlu diserahkan kepada suaminya, manakala lelaki
menerima pusaka perlu menggunakan hartanya untuk menyara isteri dan anak-anak.
Wanita perlu bersusah payah mengandung dan melahirkan anak, tetapi setiap
saat dia didoakan oleh segala haiwan, malaikat dan seluruh makhluk ALLAH di
mukabumi ini, dan matinya jika kerana melahirkan adalah syahidkecil. Manakala dosanya diampun
ALLAH (dosa kecil).
Di akhirat kelak, seorang lelaki akan
dipertanggungjawabkan terhadap 4
wanita ini:
isterinya, ibunya, anak perempuannya
dan saudara perempuannya.
Manakala seorang wanita pula, tanggungjawab
terhadapnya ditanggung oleh 4
org lelaki ini: suaminya,ayahnya, anak lelakinya
dan saudara
lelakinya.
Seorang wanita boleh memasuki pintu Syurga melalui mana-mana pintu Syurga yg disukainya cukup dengan 4 syarat sahaja:
sembahyang 5 waktu, puasa
di bulan Ramadhan, taat suaminya dan menjaga
kehormatannya.
Seorang lelaki perlu pergi berjihad fisabilillah
tetapi wanita jika taat akan suaminya serta menunaikan
tanggungjawabnya kepada ALLAH akan turut
menerima pahala seperti pahala orang pergi berperang fisabilillah tanpa perlu mengangkat senjata.
MasyaALLAH...sayangnya ALLAH pada wanita .... Seorang wanita adalah pelengkap dan sememangnya istimewa di sisi seorang lelaki, tetapi ingatlah wahai lelaki...kamu sebenarnya adalah istimewa disisi Allah, maka dengan sebab itu DIA mengangkat kamu menjadi pemimpin...maka dengan keistimewaan itu,
JAGALAH dan HARGAILAH wanita sebaik-baiknya.
Monday, July 23, 2007
name change
| You Are a Peacemaker Soul |
 You strive to please others and compromise anyway you can. War or conflict bothers you, and you would do anything to keep the peace. You are a good mediator and a true negotiator. Sometimes you do too much, trying so hard to make people happy. While you keep the peace, you tend to be secretly judgmental. You lose respect for people who don't like to both give and take. On the flip side, you've got a graet sense of humor and wit. You're always dimplomatic and able to give good advice. Souls you are most compatible with: Warrior Soul, Hunter Soul and Visionary Soul |
so what do u guys think? and this isnt a rethorical question. leave comments pls, especially for those of u who're close to me. =) xxxx
*my boyfren's family calls me rabz. and i've been thinking how that name will stick until after i marry him and beyond. my brothers' grandchildren will be calling me 'nini rabz' and it just sounds wrong. so at the age of 20, i'm gonna convert everyone in brunei (brunei sja, kalau uk payah lgi kan explain how my long-ass name jadi be'ah. rabz is easier to explain) who call me rabz into calling me be'ah. okay? and the blog address will stay to commemorate bianca's naivety at really thinking i was called rabzilulu. hehe
be'ah
Sunday, July 22, 2007
rabzilulu and the deathly hallows
im gonna spoil it for those of u yg balum baca the last book. the 3 deathly hallows are supposedly these things that can make the owner conquer death. atu plg saja tu the part im gonna share. coz this is totally unrelated. haha rasa wah i wanted to be all smart and witty writing the title like that but no, what im abt to write are about my deathly hallows, not things that conquer death, but cause death. i have been dying!!
dramatic much? hehe sorry guys. bah more to my familiar bubbly self. first deathly hallow of mine is my sloth - im slacking off from the gym! dear god, help me. after all the work i put into. but maybe im putting too much pressure on myself. u see, my lil bro got admitted at ripas thurs nite and i've had to jaga him in the morning so that takes up my gym time. he's all better now alhamdulillah. but the question is, will i ever get back to the gym junkie manic state? if i can get over diarrhea being more manic at the gym, then surely i can overcome this minor hiccup? well the the thing is, this playing nurse to my brother not only let me off from working out, but also let me in to eating all sorts of food.
frens and relatives have dropped by at he hospital, visiting my brother and see, they know he gt admitted bcoz of diarrhea but somehow, they brought him food. banar plg, thats the safest gift u can give to a patient kan. kanak2x tah lgi, nda kan d bagi flowers kali. so there was the food, my brother lying on the hospital bed clutching his stomach with pain, me bored and consoling my brother.. and the food was just calling out to me to be eaten! ans my parents, busy with work and lack of sleep bcoz of their nite shifts jaga my bro, forgot that i needed to eat. so unfortunately (or fortunately for me, depend which way u look at it), my being hunger coincided with the fact that there were dozens of cadbury bars and keropoks and all sorts of junk food there at my disposal. kenapa kalau kanak2x sakit u bring them junk food kan?? cubatah yg bisai sikit, like.. well cant think of anything now but surely ada!
i mean, i havent bloated or gained back the weight i lost or anything like that. still the same weight, thank god. but ive been eating junk. and junk food will lead to weight gain eventually. dear feeks, help me get back to the gym!!!
second deathly hallow - lack of sleep. i have been up all nite reading the last of j k rowling's books. the things i have been trying hard to do; proper diet proper exercise proper sleep.. have taken a backseat this weekend. my bro's out now, but i cudnt go to the gym bcoz i cudnt get my arse out of bed this morning. so hopefully by tomoro things will have returned to normal, by 9 o clock i will have been sweaty and red faced from my cardio and ready for rose's yoga class and doing the downward dog (thats wat i hear her say, its hard to reli tell bcoz of her filipino accent. i used to think she said inavardeeforverd, like a yoga move or sumthing, but i recently found out shes saying 'move ur body forward') and the fish pose and all the yoga poses that my body is missing. i miss yoga soo much!
and last deathly hollow, but definitely not least - i havent been seeing the boyfren much, only once this whole week, atu pun when he came by the hospital. i miss him terribly. his work and my being at the hospital with the brother have been keeping us apart. lets hope next week will be a better week.
xxx
dramatic much? hehe sorry guys. bah more to my familiar bubbly self. first deathly hallow of mine is my sloth - im slacking off from the gym! dear god, help me. after all the work i put into. but maybe im putting too much pressure on myself. u see, my lil bro got admitted at ripas thurs nite and i've had to jaga him in the morning so that takes up my gym time. he's all better now alhamdulillah. but the question is, will i ever get back to the gym junkie manic state? if i can get over diarrhea being more manic at the gym, then surely i can overcome this minor hiccup? well the the thing is, this playing nurse to my brother not only let me off from working out, but also let me in to eating all sorts of food.
frens and relatives have dropped by at he hospital, visiting my brother and see, they know he gt admitted bcoz of diarrhea but somehow, they brought him food. banar plg, thats the safest gift u can give to a patient kan. kanak2x tah lgi, nda kan d bagi flowers kali. so there was the food, my brother lying on the hospital bed clutching his stomach with pain, me bored and consoling my brother.. and the food was just calling out to me to be eaten! ans my parents, busy with work and lack of sleep bcoz of their nite shifts jaga my bro, forgot that i needed to eat. so unfortunately (or fortunately for me, depend which way u look at it), my being hunger coincided with the fact that there were dozens of cadbury bars and keropoks and all sorts of junk food there at my disposal. kenapa kalau kanak2x sakit u bring them junk food kan?? cubatah yg bisai sikit, like.. well cant think of anything now but surely ada!
i mean, i havent bloated or gained back the weight i lost or anything like that. still the same weight, thank god. but ive been eating junk. and junk food will lead to weight gain eventually. dear feeks, help me get back to the gym!!!
second deathly hallow - lack of sleep. i have been up all nite reading the last of j k rowling's books. the things i have been trying hard to do; proper diet proper exercise proper sleep.. have taken a backseat this weekend. my bro's out now, but i cudnt go to the gym bcoz i cudnt get my arse out of bed this morning. so hopefully by tomoro things will have returned to normal, by 9 o clock i will have been sweaty and red faced from my cardio and ready for rose's yoga class and doing the downward dog (thats wat i hear her say, its hard to reli tell bcoz of her filipino accent. i used to think she said inavardeeforverd, like a yoga move or sumthing, but i recently found out shes saying 'move ur body forward') and the fish pose and all the yoga poses that my body is missing. i miss yoga soo much!
and last deathly hollow, but definitely not least - i havent been seeing the boyfren much, only once this whole week, atu pun when he came by the hospital. i miss him terribly. his work and my being at the hospital with the brother have been keeping us apart. lets hope next week will be a better week.
xxx
Wednesday, July 18, 2007
back to the gym
i realised im starting to be (or alredi am) a gym junkie. after 3 consecutive days of not going to the gym due to various unavoidable circumtances, i realised i was suffering from withdrawal symptoms. i dragged out my brother's old dumbells and did bicep and tricep flexes and did a bit of yoga, cudve gone to the gym on sunday but it was closed bcoz of HM's birthday. planned to go back to the gym ystrdy (tuesday) but alas, i suffered from food poisoning. still wanted to drag myself to the gym ystrdy morning tho.
i was all dressed up and ready to sweat it out at the gym but i kept having to lie down and my brother was rushing me telling me my driver needed to go to the embassy and i was just lying there thinking 'is it worth going to the gym? am i becoming lazy? i havent worked out for 2 days now. am i pushing myself too hard? i need to go to the gym. i had a big meal lastnite' and so forth. i'd also been up the entire nite, u knw, being a symptom of food poisoning. i wont get graphic with u guys but ugh, its no stroll in the park. i remember i kept thinking 'if pregnancy contractions are nothing compared to the pain now, then i am only gonna have one kid!'
pain subsided after my parents (yes, both my parents, i feel so loved =p) brought me to the emergency and got what i needed. and despite it being called an emergency, the service thre totally sucks. i mean, at the rate they were moving, i wudve died had i come thre for, say, internal bleeding maybe. i was swearing off each and everyone of the doctors as i lied there in bed in pain. the nurses were all nice tho, except for one. and i wonder how its called a hospital? well, its supposed to be quiet but me lying thre with my eyes closed, i cudve sworned i was in a pasar malam, but without the smells food being sold.
ugh, and speaking of food, i am never gonna eat at TPH ever. and maybe i'll take a break from unagi. actually to be frank, i still dont feel like eating, especially eating out. syazwi txted lastnite abt going to sns, his treat. he passed his line check ystrdy and congratulations on that! but food poisoning and eating out does not go well. the upside of being sick was that i got pampered by not only my mum but also my brothers. got them to massage me and just boss them around without any backtalking. i was still tired and weak this morning but the fever's gone so guess wat? i went to the gym this morning. gym junkie indeed.
xxx
p/s missing the boyfren muchos. his new haircut looks good. handsome eh my boyfren atu hehe.
i was all dressed up and ready to sweat it out at the gym but i kept having to lie down and my brother was rushing me telling me my driver needed to go to the embassy and i was just lying there thinking 'is it worth going to the gym? am i becoming lazy? i havent worked out for 2 days now. am i pushing myself too hard? i need to go to the gym. i had a big meal lastnite' and so forth. i'd also been up the entire nite, u knw, being a symptom of food poisoning. i wont get graphic with u guys but ugh, its no stroll in the park. i remember i kept thinking 'if pregnancy contractions are nothing compared to the pain now, then i am only gonna have one kid!'
pain subsided after my parents (yes, both my parents, i feel so loved =p) brought me to the emergency and got what i needed. and despite it being called an emergency, the service thre totally sucks. i mean, at the rate they were moving, i wudve died had i come thre for, say, internal bleeding maybe. i was swearing off each and everyone of the doctors as i lied there in bed in pain. the nurses were all nice tho, except for one. and i wonder how its called a hospital? well, its supposed to be quiet but me lying thre with my eyes closed, i cudve sworned i was in a pasar malam, but without the smells food being sold.
ugh, and speaking of food, i am never gonna eat at TPH ever. and maybe i'll take a break from unagi. actually to be frank, i still dont feel like eating, especially eating out. syazwi txted lastnite abt going to sns, his treat. he passed his line check ystrdy and congratulations on that! but food poisoning and eating out does not go well. the upside of being sick was that i got pampered by not only my mum but also my brothers. got them to massage me and just boss them around without any backtalking. i was still tired and weak this morning but the fever's gone so guess wat? i went to the gym this morning. gym junkie indeed.
xxx
p/s missing the boyfren muchos. his new haircut looks good. handsome eh my boyfren atu hehe.
Sunday, July 15, 2007
busy weekend.
imah is coming down today. :D cant wait to jalan2x with her and ka amal. biar ia jalan time jetlag. huhu.
results of working out are finally showing. but i kinda spoilt it during my brother's birthday bash on friday. i dint go to the gym, for one thing. ate tons of yummy but calorie-laden food. i played on the sliding bouncer tho. but i doubt it equals the same cardio workout i shud be doing. and today we ordered pizza. yikes! im going backwards on my portion control. gym lgi tutup today. im gonna puasa esuk la. and FYI, esuk sunat puasa, coz its 1st rejab. plus, its a monday. mite as well puasa to kumpul pahala, kan?
and ystrdy i had dimsum for lunch with the boyfren and his frens. and i totally did not portion myself to a certain amount. i was literally stuffing myself. god. im being a true capricorn - fear of the food going to waste but instead it goes to waist.
curls are high maintenance. advice for ppl who want to curl their hair, DO NOT wash ur hair just before bed coz when u sleep it gets all poufy/kinky/less curly (depends on ur hair type, with me it gets straighter; sayang kali ah duit mem perm d kadai skali jadi straight~)the next morning and then u have to wash it again to make it look nice again.
boyfren's birthday in less than 2 weeks. he starts work on tuesday. no more regular dates, yeah syg? :( spent our anniversary together last thurs for the second time. haha yea, been together for more than a year but we've only celebrated together twice. thats what studying overseas and dating a flyboy will get u. watched harry potter -dissappointing. i wanna watch transformers again tho =D
i tink i need a tougher workout schedule. or am i pushing myself too much? btw, dmana gym fitness zone d kiulap anie kan? haha. coz i reli dont knw wherabts in kiulap it is.
to kentians, whens the next meeting where ALL of us can make it? be-uri ku migang duit batah2x anie. krg tepakai =p and lets plan gatherings ahead instead of being last minute, coz lately ive got a full plate on my hands. lets hope that stays figuratively and not literally.
oh, and selamat hari keputeraan to HM.
and that is me being random.
much love xxx
results of working out are finally showing. but i kinda spoilt it during my brother's birthday bash on friday. i dint go to the gym, for one thing. ate tons of yummy but calorie-laden food. i played on the sliding bouncer tho. but i doubt it equals the same cardio workout i shud be doing. and today we ordered pizza. yikes! im going backwards on my portion control. gym lgi tutup today. im gonna puasa esuk la. and FYI, esuk sunat puasa, coz its 1st rejab. plus, its a monday. mite as well puasa to kumpul pahala, kan?
and ystrdy i had dimsum for lunch with the boyfren and his frens. and i totally did not portion myself to a certain amount. i was literally stuffing myself. god. im being a true capricorn - fear of the food going to waste but instead it goes to waist.
curls are high maintenance. advice for ppl who want to curl their hair, DO NOT wash ur hair just before bed coz when u sleep it gets all poufy/kinky/less curly (depends on ur hair type, with me it gets straighter; sayang kali ah duit mem perm d kadai skali jadi straight~)the next morning and then u have to wash it again to make it look nice again.
boyfren's birthday in less than 2 weeks. he starts work on tuesday. no more regular dates, yeah syg? :( spent our anniversary together last thurs for the second time. haha yea, been together for more than a year but we've only celebrated together twice. thats what studying overseas and dating a flyboy will get u. watched harry potter -dissappointing. i wanna watch transformers again tho =D
i tink i need a tougher workout schedule. or am i pushing myself too much? btw, dmana gym fitness zone d kiulap anie kan? haha. coz i reli dont knw wherabts in kiulap it is.
to kentians, whens the next meeting where ALL of us can make it? be-uri ku migang duit batah2x anie. krg tepakai =p and lets plan gatherings ahead instead of being last minute, coz lately ive got a full plate on my hands. lets hope that stays figuratively and not literally.
oh, and selamat hari keputeraan to HM.
and that is me being random.
much love xxx
Thursday, July 12, 2007
when rabz is pms-ing...
she gets cranky and moody and snappy.
and she is a lil frustrated about her weight; her intensive exercise rountine (10laps, 15mins runner, bike and yoga) doesnt seem to show results. when will she start to see results of weight loss??
yea, her skin looks great, she's more active now and doesnt get tired as much as dulu, but everywhere else is still jiggly! and maybe her boyfren has said that its less jiggly but she doesnt see it. and the best friend says she looks kurus but she tinks its just her being photogenic.
and she wants to make brownies but theres no cocoa in the pantry.
and why am i referring to myself in the third person?
and she is a lil frustrated about her weight; her intensive exercise rountine (10laps, 15mins runner, bike and yoga) doesnt seem to show results. when will she start to see results of weight loss??
yea, her skin looks great, she's more active now and doesnt get tired as much as dulu, but everywhere else is still jiggly! and maybe her boyfren has said that its less jiggly but she doesnt see it. and the best friend says she looks kurus but she tinks its just her being photogenic.
and she wants to make brownies but theres no cocoa in the pantry.
and why am i referring to myself in the third person?
Sunday, July 8, 2007
all grown up
congratulations to my friend downstairs on her engagement lastnite. =) semoga sampai ke jinjang pelamin.
another congratulatory msg to another friend who nikah-ed (??) ystrdy and had his bersanding today. u guys looked beautiful together. semoga kekal ke akhir hayat and have fun on ur honeymoon ;)
p/s i love the outfit, bride's flowers and the pelamin.
pictures from the wedding :D
kelurusan my baju sama dgn the pengapit LOL
with the groom.
congratulations again, my friend. its weird seeing u on the pelamin with ur wife on ur wedding day. i mean, bukan plg apa, but u and me go wayyy back to primary since before we were 10 and there u are, all grown up and a husband. u've embarked on a journey where theres no turning back. hehe best of luck in everything, especially in being a good husband to ehra.
xxx
another congratulatory msg to another friend who nikah-ed (??) ystrdy and had his bersanding today. u guys looked beautiful together. semoga kekal ke akhir hayat and have fun on ur honeymoon ;)
p/s i love the outfit, bride's flowers and the pelamin.
pictures from the wedding :D
kelurusan my baju sama dgn the pengapit LOL
with the groom.
congratulations again, my friend. its weird seeing u on the pelamin with ur wife on ur wedding day. i mean, bukan plg apa, but u and me go wayyy back to primary since before we were 10 and there u are, all grown up and a husband. u've embarked on a journey where theres no turning back. hehe best of luck in everything, especially in being a good husband to ehra.
xxx
Wednesday, July 4, 2007
endorphins and permed hair
helloooo~ lately ive been feeling chirpy and hyper (or rather, EXTRA chirpy and hyper) and im guessing i owe the extra hyperness to a hormone called endorphins. like i mentioned before, i have been going to the gym every morning now and exercising and working out vigilantly. oh the difference it makes! i feel fanta-amazing-fabulouso! haha i guess im a convert now. the no-i-dont-exerise-becoz-i-dont-like-sweat rabz has looong gone. welcome the new rabz who actually thrives in sweat and enjoys her treadmill and yoga sessions! never knew such a rabz could exist but thre u have it. and this specially goes to feeks who has long tried to convert me but with no avail. hehe hi feeks!
i mean, exercise is just sooo good for u! yes, aku ketinggalan zaman. i shunned the sweaty lockers of the gym in school, just sat around watching my classmates play netball and if i had to join, i'd avoid the ball. so whenever a ball came near me, i scream, altho it was more of a screech. haha sarah and effy would remember those times well. them two have also been trying to make me sweat. well, i'd still say i dont do balls (oi, stop thinking that, u perv) but now i do run (on the treadmill), do weights and yoga. bliss! i met up with some frens a few days back and i met nina, who hasnt seen me in awhile. she says my skin looks great! according to her, i looked like i was wearing blusher. then theres also the weight loss. and my extra flexibility after doing yoga. theres this one pose that i cud never do without the instructor's help, but this morning i did it! yayyyy for me! see, im getting great skin, i wake up early and get a regular dose of sleep (not too little or too much) and i lose weight. isnt this great?? haha aaaaand i also realised that this post is dotted with exclamation points. !!!!!! hahaha.
and i got a new look too. to macth my healthier thriving-on-sweat-self. i got my hair curled ystrdy =D its the smallest ringlets u can imagine and it starts from the top of my head from the roots, not halfway down like ppl have been doing lately. i told the hairstylist, if it doesnt come out looking the way i want, its okay coz i wear the tudong anyway. i'll give u an idea of how my hair looks like now -its curly like mee maggie. but i love it! it sooo macthes hows im feeling =bouncy and lively. haha i just hope i can maintain the curls coz i knw they're high maintenance. my bf says my face makin bulat. i knew there was a risk of that plg, my face andang bulat, d perm lgi rambut atu, sudah tah rambut atu nda panjang sangat. buuutt.. i LOVE my new hair! i cant post up the pictures here plg but just think of a mop of curly maggie hair on me instead of the usually straight (sometimes kinky, and no, not that kind of kinky) hair.
thats enough for an update, no? oh yes, and my muscles dont ache anymore when/after i workout and i dont feel tired. so another yayyyy for me!
much love! (theres the exclamation point again haha)
i mean, exercise is just sooo good for u! yes, aku ketinggalan zaman. i shunned the sweaty lockers of the gym in school, just sat around watching my classmates play netball and if i had to join, i'd avoid the ball. so whenever a ball came near me, i scream, altho it was more of a screech. haha sarah and effy would remember those times well. them two have also been trying to make me sweat. well, i'd still say i dont do balls (oi, stop thinking that, u perv) but now i do run (on the treadmill), do weights and yoga. bliss! i met up with some frens a few days back and i met nina, who hasnt seen me in awhile. she says my skin looks great! according to her, i looked like i was wearing blusher. then theres also the weight loss. and my extra flexibility after doing yoga. theres this one pose that i cud never do without the instructor's help, but this morning i did it! yayyyy for me! see, im getting great skin, i wake up early and get a regular dose of sleep (not too little or too much) and i lose weight. isnt this great?? haha aaaaand i also realised that this post is dotted with exclamation points. !!!!!! hahaha.
and i got a new look too. to macth my healthier thriving-on-sweat-self. i got my hair curled ystrdy =D its the smallest ringlets u can imagine and it starts from the top of my head from the roots, not halfway down like ppl have been doing lately. i told the hairstylist, if it doesnt come out looking the way i want, its okay coz i wear the tudong anyway. i'll give u an idea of how my hair looks like now -its curly like mee maggie. but i love it! it sooo macthes hows im feeling =bouncy and lively. haha i just hope i can maintain the curls coz i knw they're high maintenance. my bf says my face makin bulat. i knew there was a risk of that plg, my face andang bulat, d perm lgi rambut atu, sudah tah rambut atu nda panjang sangat. buuutt.. i LOVE my new hair! i cant post up the pictures here plg but just think of a mop of curly maggie hair on me instead of the usually straight (sometimes kinky, and no, not that kind of kinky) hair.
thats enough for an update, no? oh yes, and my muscles dont ache anymore when/after i workout and i dont feel tired. so another yayyyy for me!
much love! (theres the exclamation point again haha)
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