for imah

this post is dedicated to imah psl aku kan jeleskan ia about boxing day shopping beause aku jeles ia balik brunei.

pfffft =p

hehe nadawah. im too tired to go into details but this post will be a reminder to myself to talk about

a) my london trip -where i met the most unexpected friend in brunei hall.

b)how i've actually fallen off the exercise bandwagon =( been off for a week except for 2 measly workouts.

c)hmm.. theres one more thing but i cant remember. will update once i remember. hee.

in the meantime, happy new year both hijrah and masihi.

much love,
be'ah xoxo

my twilight date

i'm so ketinggalan zaman in this but i WLL NOT not gush about the movie because it is just so COOL!

(i know that apparently its uncool to say something is cool, but i cant describe the movie any other way without sounding so... stupid silly teeny bopper. haha)

i've been telling myself i wont be a stupid silly teeny bopper swooning over edward cullen and.. well..

lets say im not a stupid silly teeny bopper swooning over edward cullen, more like stupid silly OVERAGED teenybopper.

i am, after all, turning 22 next month.

so whats twilight talk without talking of only the most sexiest and deelish vampire ever? i must say tho, in his first scene, i didnt exactly gasp at his supposedly hotness but like someone puts it, he grows on u. i personally think its the strength and speed that wins him over for me. oh, and the fact that he also happens to be uber-romantic, albeit in a slightly psycho-stalkerish way.

imagine going on dates on tree tops. sigh.

(macam ambuk plg huhuhu)

but then i also thought, eh sajuk jua tu, being all the way up high. nda eh. nda tia romantic psl sajuk. haha.

i'd say twilight is a movie i wouldnt mind watching a million times over2x again. most of his pick-up lines were too corny for me plg.. but him being a vampire i guess he pulled it off. im a sucker for romance tho so maybe im just saying its corny because i dont wanna admit i like lines like 'you're my life'.

okay fine. im just a romantic in denial.

but saya suka that he went to great lengths to protect her.

i think my boyfriend would do the same to me. kan sayang? =p

i wudnt want to be with a vampire la. coz i love cooking and if he wont eat what i cook, now thats just a no-no.

yes, saya angan2x again. not much of a twilight review ey? but for everyone who hasnt watched it, go see it!

to everyone, happy christmas!

much love,
be'ah xoxo

restless

tonight's the first night of many that i will be alone in the house.

aku restlessssssssssssssssssss!!!

i occupied myself the whole day by doing weights and cleaning the bathroom and kitchen.

skali sudah mlm.. i dint feel like cleaning anymore. didnt feel like starting on my next essay either. (due in january, babu. so not to worry. plenty of time insyaAllah).

i was suppose to go over to rezzy's coz they got singstar. but im too knackered from all the cleaning tdi to go out. but NOW that im bored, its too late to go out =(

well, not that late. but if i go out now, i'll stay up late and im a loser like that, i like sleeping early.. like.. preferably before midnight. yes, even on holiday. the boyfren is busy with his brother's wedding. how ironic is that? the one night i could use company and he's busy. oh well. thats the way life rolls~

anyhoo, aunty doctor will be coming back tomoro so i'll have someone to talk to.


i think if i were a full-time housewife, i'd drive myself crazy. unless i can be one of those super rich housewives that can go shopping anytime. hahahaha.

i am going out tomoro so i dont go crazy. to get a xmas card for our next door neighbour and pick up nis's drycleaning.

oh lord. my days are so domestic. i actually wanted to bake but we didnt have enough ingredients.

okay, i tink i CAN be a full time housewife. but i'd have to have company around. like, have a full-time housewife for a neighbour or something. heee. or have my parents live next door!

hahaha. jauh angan2x ah. speaking of which, i have a TENTATIVE birthday wishlist. nis is excluded because she got me presents sudah. PRESENTS in plural because it was more than one =D

the wishlist goes like so:

1)nintendo DS lite.



2) Christina Aguilera's latest perfume, Inspire!

3) this bag from acessorize. nis knows which one. cant find the picture to make your life easier. so maybe give me cash sja? =p

4)birthday cupcakes from mamacits. i want fondant dumbbells and yoga mats with butterflies and the little flowery stuff she does. (i hope she reads this. hee)

other than that, i aint too fussy =p

much love,
be'ah xoxo

represent!

KLS, the kent law school, MY law school, has just recently been rated the NUMBER 6 law school in the UK.

not bad for such a young school, ey. UKC was founded in the 1960s.

anyhoo, i received a jubilant email from one of the law school professors talking about the RAE rating and saying numbers which i cannot comprehend. pokoknya the gist of the email was ia happy with the rating berabis that he was emailing everyone associated with the law school of UKC to share the news.

i said i did not understand the numbers but *ahem*, let me mention the 5 unis that kalahkan KLS.

they were (im not sure of the order but im citing this from the email)

LSE
UCL
Durham
Oxford
Nottingham

apanaaaah? we actually beat Cambridge's law school! take that!

i just finished my autumn term essays (read: officially on holidayyy) and i just hope it reflects KLS's new standing.

ick. such a nerdy comment but there u have it.

much looooove,
be'ah xoxo

dream a little

love this song. it just lulls me into a sense of peace and serenity.. mcm kana urut rasanya! hehe great song for cooling down after a workout, or when doing the corpse pose in yoga.

(hahaha did i freak anyone out with the corpse pose dig? lol)

anyway, this song is for you =) i miss you.

also, congratulations to jem and kalil, bibi and her fiance, adek and her fiance, kak ness and her finance and all those other friends who just got engaged/getting hitched in the last month/next month.

damn i got a lot of frens getting hitched in just this past month. pressure la.

haha apakan. to said friends - me wants to see pictures!!

i realy want a DS now. hinted to me madre but she just said 'ah?'. hairan kali how her tech-challenged daughter wants a gaming console when she hardly ever touches her brothers' PS and watnot.

oh well.

much love,
be'ah xoxo

antah

i know its justified to leave this blog unattended (baruuuu jua 6 days~) because deadlines are looming but i dont like to see the date on my last post was last sunday. to be honest, i keep checking and signing in to update, but i come up with blanks.

i'd rather not talk about essays or how far i am (or how far behind lol) because either way, i know im going to finish my essays. its just the pace that i'm a a bit bleuh about. awal siap kaah.. last minute kah.. siap jua namanya kan.

anyhoo, this update is just for sanity's sake. i'e been staring at word document for too long and i need a break from european law.

(naah ckp psl essays jua).

okay. i'll be random. today my housemate illah is going home. i told her to bring back mamacits' cupcakes when she comes back on the 6th. i am so banar2x craving for smores. other than that, i think i've got my holiday planned out more or less. not banar2x plan A-Z, but i do know i will see ruzanna, watch a musical, go to LV on boxing day (for a favour okeh. belum saya mampu beli LV yowh) and get a haircut somehow.

today is also the date for my boyfriend's brother's nikah. i'm curious about the bride's outfit.

i also made a chocolate and mascorpone cake for lastnite's dinner. kirakan for illah's farewell la kononnya. i've never made it before but it turned out awesome, alhamdullilah. the thing is, there was so much whisking and beating and many complicated techniques that i felt like my right arm had fell off. macam i think i developed more muscles from making the cake than doing a week's worth of weights. i had to whisk egg white till it 'rises in soft peaks' and double cream till its 'floppy but not thick'. i didnt even know what the words meant. like main antam sja tdi ah.

however, i'd have to say baking is therepeutic. i felt like a frofesional when making the the mixture and watnot.

its definitely not something i'd be makin often tho. but the work was worth it because the cake was deeelish-shos! so first attempt was a success. maybe if someone paid me, i'd be willing to make it again this year. hahar. but imma stick to exercise rather than baking for a sanity fix.

kan random this post. its almost 4 in the morning but i am still up because i wanna see illah off when she goes to the airport krg. i kinda did my essay but i cudnt think straight so baiktah blog since i dont need to think straight for blogging.

hmmm.. i think i sounded like ali just then. haha. hiii li~~~








i believe i have been random enough. satu minggu lagi and i am free! i reli reli miss my boyfriend, whos currently on leave. if saya d brunei, saya jalan with him nie. haha apakan.

i think im just sleepy.

gdnite and much love,
be'ah xoxo

special k week

i am wearing jeans that are currently squeezing into my hip bone.

and i have very small hips.

i gained a kilo in 2 weeks :(

boo. i blame the cold. its making me stuff my face. i kept telling myself its the muscles thats made me gain a kilo but when i put on the jeans this morning i think, thats it.

its back to basics. im going on a special k week.

to think i wont be able to fit into my new jeans!!!



on another note, had jemaah prayers and tahlil tdi in conjunction with aidil adha, met a sister who is soooo nice. she's french so she's got this reli sexy accent going on. haha apakan. random.

2 more weeks till i am free!

much love,
be'ah xoxo

what i really really need

are new earphones for my ipod. its so buruk u can see the wire in it.

skullcandy ah. yg pink ones.

and i repeat, i need EARphones. not HEADphones. i think wearing a hijab with skullcandy headphones is like an oxymoron. antah.

hee. bah atu saja. i hope my secret santa reads this.

much love,
be'ah xoxo

Illah's ryan

i am yet to meet apip's ryan.

but i've met illah's one (one eh. mcm brg sja) twice. but once masa ya tidur so boring. this time, its a whooole day and i put on his socks and shoes and leather jacket and i carried him around selfridges and i also took off his layers of clothing sudah balik rumah.

hee. apakan. i love babies bah.



thats me and ryan in oxford street in our matching leather jackets. i discovered ryan is into leather gloves. banaaar. coz whenever he starts kusut ie nangis, i just wiggle my leather clad fingers in front of him and he sits there, hypnotized. lol.



put this one in for good measure. this is azirah, youngest girl cousin on dad's side.

much love,
be'ah

score!

i believe i am in a jeans/trousers obsession phase.

so bear with me.

i found THE perfect pair of distressed denims that give me THE perfect 'uplift' with THE perfect price!

they're about 7 inches too long but wait. till. you. hear. the price!

ready?

retail price was 135quid.

marked down to SIXTY FIVE!





marked down AGAIN to THREE SEVEN QUID!



37 quid! i tell youuuu! ted baker jeans at 37 quid!


oh, i got them at ashford. which kinda explains the price. hee. and they only had one pair in my size. mcm.. helloooo.. it practically had my name on it next to ted's!

alritey then. no boxing day shopping for me. i dont like boxing day anyway. the idea of pushing around ppl in stuffy crammy shops trying to get clothes that i cant even try on because the queues for the changing rooms are too long puts me off.

bring me to designer outlets anytime!

much love,
be'ah

frosties

winter is really really here! it snowed on sunday morning and since then its just been 10x colder =(

even sitting in front my laptop typing this away is making my hands chilly. the thought of wearing gloves indoors has crossed my mind several times. too bad i dont own the fingerless kinds. coz that way i can type and have warm hands. hee.

actually, i do have fingerless gloves. but they shrank in the dryer. yg ezzah bali kan lgi tu. haish. its so small now even a 5 yr old can't fit into them.

i am currently wearing my warm wool hoody and buried under my duvet. its that cold. and i am indoors okeh. the heater is up on high and i have my toes on the metal to chase away the frosties.

(heh? apakan frosties? cereal jua tuuuu. =p sajuk bah sajuk!)

cold weather means i DO NOT go out jogging. i stay indoors to work up a sweat, which takes foreverrr in this current freezing temperature. i usually get all warmed up (doing weights) to the point that i switch off the heater and open up one window in my room.. but now even all warmed up the heater stays on and the windows closed.

at least getting all flushed up makes me warmer. i found a good workout circuit rountine which is enough to leave me huffing and puffing in under 20mins. yes, even in the cold so obviously its a toughie. but i gotta presevere bekos this cold weather is making me eat everything i put my hands on!

maybe i need extra fat for insulation. i shud tone down on the exercise.

antah, i've never felt this cold everr. gerenti nie come the holidays, i will definitely be holed up in my room.. online shopping.

i wish. haha. moolah is to be saved.. for something =)

oh mataharii.. dimankah engkau? go away arctic wind!

much love,
be'ah xoxo

like old times

today i went out to town with my new housemate, vuina, to get some groceries. her friend's coming from nottingham so she wants to cook dinner. tunjuk terror in the kitchen la tu. huhu. i went with her coz i needed some toiletries anyway.

then waddya know?

theres a SALE everywhere!

that was an exaggeration obviously. but somehow, on the day i decided to go to town (after about 3 weeks of not stepping foot there), dorothy perkins and jane norman were having a sale with 20% off everything, JUST for that ONE day.

oh em gee. it was temptation temptation everywhere. like a druggie out of rehab given his first whiff of coke.

err.. okay that was a bad analogy. harhar.

but seriously, the 2 brands are the vey few shops that stock clothes in my petite size perfectly, so helloo~ ya think i let this big fat chance go by?

i didnt buy the whole shop la. i shopped rationally.. at least i think so.

i got wide leg jeans from DP. finally! after searching high and low for the perfect cut, wash and length! and there it was just ampai2x there. and i wasnt even looking for jeans. just shows that things come to you when u dont look for them.

apakan.

of course the jeans aren't perfect; i still need to crop off about an inch but they were a bargain and me and jeans.. kalau muat, bali saja!

payah mencari jeans damit anie nyamu.

jane norman was very frustating tho. all these clothes, very pretty.. but i didnt find anything i really liked. i found a couple of pants.. but none my size. im glad i didnt buy anything, come to think of it. i do remember thinking i NEED to buy something because everything was 20% off. but i didnt. nyahah! see how the shopaholic in me has been sedated by rigorous exercising and iron pumping? i can so0o refuse a shopping spree when theres nothing i really want.

i got a gorgeous ring tho. from accessorize. very vintage-y looking, very chic. but in my defense, i can wear it as a tudong clip as well (coz the rock is HUUGE), so there. two things for the price of one.

oh em gee im still so high and euphoric from the shopping. its been a loong time since i've felt like this. tee hee. good things do come to those who wait. havent been shopping in aaages and bam! i find jeans and a ring.

last but not least, the walk to town and carrying the groceries back justifies as cardio and weights for me. so the day has been amazing, alhamdulillah!

much love,
be'ah xoxo

stuck in the middle

all semangat to up my exercise routine over the weekend, i woke up uber early, got dressed whilst all the way singing, ready for a morning jog.

decided to leave my keys and phone because having a phone bounce against my derriere and hearing keys jingling just spoils a good jog for me.

my house has 2 front doors that sandwich a tiny 0.5x3 space, where the washing machine and dryer is. the 2nd door (first door from the outside) is usually left unlocked because its convenient for when parcels arrive and none of us are home.

so.. out i went into the miniscule space, shutting the door behind me firmly. i remember checking the dryer and making a mental note of taking my stuff out after my jog. turned to the second door and.. its locked.

i dont have my keys with me to unlock either door. i dont have my phone to call any of my hsemates to open the door for me. it was uber early and had i waited, i wud've stayed for AT LEAST a good hour.

surprisingly i didnt panic. maybe because i was going out for a jog. just wanting to exercise makes me so.. chill.

also, illah's room was the closest and i know she's a light sleeper in the mornings. she's my partner in waking up at 7 or 8.

so i sharply rapped the (first from inside the house) door, and for good measure, jangled the metal flap where the posts come in.

less than a minute and out came illah wearing her rudolph pyjamas looking sleepy-eyed and very blur, wondering why the hell am i there. apparently i literally woked her up, so she wasnt really registering why i was there because for one thing, she did not laugh at my predicament. she just silently gave me the house keys to unlock the door and out i went jogging.

after a quickie run (very short because it started to rain a bit), i got home and thats when illah laughed at me. she found it so amusing that she told everyone else in the house.

so now i knw, NEVER leave for a jog without house keys OR a phone. or at least, bring either thing if illah's not around. coz if i depended on the other housemates (who are heavy sleepers!!), i'd better put a book out on the washing machine for reading coz i'd definitly be stuck for awhile!

much love,
be'ah xoxo

lazy

i finally finished my 2,000 word essay on food!

nyahah! betchu didnt expect that sentence with a title like that.

my muscles have been lazy tho. working out the past 4days didnt give me the pain, exhaustion and most importantly the satisfaction of having put my body through a helluva exercise routine.

this means i gotta up my workout. and thinking about that makes me go 'uuuugggh' bekozzz it means looking for new moves that target the exact same muscles and putting it alll up together in a proper flowing routine.

i kid. im not that organised with my workouts.

but i still need to raise the bar a bit. i realise i dont find george and laura (my 1.5kg dumbbells) challenging anymore and fester and pheobe (the 2kg ones) dont do much either, except for maybe my triceps.

my room is starting to look like a gym with my exercise ball (nope, dont have a name for it), yoga mat and dumbbells. then maybe i think i'm too reliant on my equipments. maybe i need to go back to basics and work against gravity. like.. use my body as weights.

we'll see if im rajin to look up some moves for that. or maybe email rose and ask. i havent emailed her since coming back to the yuhkay. tsk.

speaking of equipments tho.. i've been wanting to get myself a polar watch. y'knw, those things on ur wrists that tell ur calorie intake, burn and ecetera. i think sarah had one dulu but i never appreciated it coz i was such an anti-bepaluh girl.

i think i'll get myself one... after i get my nikeid sports shoes. haha.

much love,
be'ah xoxo

(so much to bali... if only duit fall from langit. huhu.)

"once a fat kid, always a fat kid"

excerpt taken from people.com.

Kate Winslet struggled with her weight as a teenager – and the successful star and fashion icon says she still sometimes has doubts about her body.

"I never had a desire to be famous," Winslet, 33, says in a new Vanity Fair interview. "I was fat. I didn't know any fat famous actresses. I just did not see myself in that world at all, and I'm being very sincere. You know, once a fat kid, always a fat kid."

i can so0o0ooo relate to her! yea everyone says she looks fantastic but that self doubt always comes haunting back. it doesnt help that my brothers always say i'm fat.

okay i kid. i mean, my brothers do call me fat but im not bothered by that. they'd call kate moss fat if she was their sister. my point is that you never really get over tha fact that you're not fat anymore. which is why i always make such a big deal when i fit into size 6 jeans.

anyhooo... i've got about a week till my first essay is due. i have a couple more hours to go before i can start pumping iron (because i just have breakfast. having a full tummy while exercising is just a no-no for me).

but i've still got sore abs from thursday's workout.

i hate hate it when i dont cool-down proper. sometimes i just get too in the moment sweating it out that i just collapse on my yoga mat before any proper cool-down stretching. then the next morning getting out of bed can trigger pain in a muscle u never knew existed.

on the other hand... i love my toned arms! i can do the chaturangga perfect now! (at least, thats what i think, havent got a proper mirror to check my profile doing chaturangga).

much love,
be'ah xoxo

ugh.

change

change has cometh to ah-mey-ree-ka!

gobama! gobama! go! go! gobama!

heeeeeeeee.

anyhoo, i had a random thought today. i was sitting down, typing and all hunched when i had a sudden glance at my midriff. from the back of my head came the voice 'ugh annoying jua lamak anie eh. how many sit-ups do i need to do to get rid of it?!'

then i almost as random and sudden as the first thought, a second voice in me said

'helloooo? look who's talking. u used (still am) to be SO annoyed when ppl skinnier than u talk abt how berlemak and fat they are and you are now a size 6. remember, ur on the other side now'

'so? lamak is still lamak. its fat. plus im short. i need to lose the lamak!'

'get a grip girl. any smaller and u'd be anorexic.'

hmm.. never thought i'd actually (almost) describe myself as anorexic. of course im still FAAAAAAR from being one, but i think if i stick to this negativity abt fat, i will soon.

so0o0o0o....

the conclusion to this very random conversation between the 2 voices in my head is:

i'mma start loving my curves! i dont think its possible to have a washboard tummy with my diet and there is no wayy i'm changing that. i love food too much.

on the plus side, im starting to see toned arms again after the lapse of weight-training over ramadhan. hurray!

also another random note.........

i believe i have THE BEST, the most patient and most understandingest boyfriend EVER. actually, scratch that. i KNOW so.

jangan jeles~ =p

haha.

much love,
be'ah xoxo

p/s thanx again nav for cheering me up. amazing what a simple comment from a best friend can do. i love u!

tis' the season

to be sad, depressed and definitely UN-JOLLY.

the winter blues never fails to affect me. oh wait, last year nda. becoz i was coming home in december. this year? its coming full-on like in first year, because similar to first year, i have ABSOLUTELY no effin' plans for dec hols.

its 4 weeks with nothing to do but get all holed up and depressed in the house.

most of my hsemates with be gone for xmas hols. i dont reli mind tho. being alone while depressed and sad will at least prevent me from being unnecessarily rude to ppl. coz yea, i snap quite easily when i'm sad.

its also the time when i keep stuffing myself with all the goodness of warm food. portion control? out of the window~ and we've been getting regular supplies of krispy kreme from a certain person from southampton and all the donuts are not helping with the depression. mind you, im using the term depression loosely. im not clinical depressed. just.. homesick i guess.

thank god im not one of those ppl who cant be alone. i can fill my time quite nicely while alone.. sad as that may be to some of u. i can read, become a gymaholic once again and if i dont feel like cooking.. hey, no food.. no calorie intake. haha. sedih jua eh.

but yea, the trip to new york is postponed coz i cant find ppl to go with me. i wudnt midn going alone but im sure the parents and boyfren wotn be happy abt it. as will most ppl, of course. so my december holidays will be spent holed up in my room reading (might as well do some work), going to the gym (once i get the gym membership sorted out) and just watching dvds and the xmas programmes they have on tv. im a tv junkie so i dont reli mind watching anything. lol

anyway, enough with the depressing post. i just got back from london where i went to westfield! only the biggest shopping mall in uk everr.

much love,
be'ah xxxxxxxxxxx


i miss miss miss you so so much!

my mini 'holiday'

reading week is for.. reading.

so i've buried my nose in equity and european (which to be honest, i am slo0o0owwly starting to detest) and medical (fun, this one) and i havent touched anything on my wild module on food and i have an essay due for that in a couple of weeks time. yikes!

oh, i found out my new friend in food seminar (short for social politics of food) named mustafa is actually a muslim. i know the name kinda gave it away, but nowadays there're loads of ppl with muslim names who arent and muslims with names that arent. u get me?

anyhoo, its refreshing to come to class and be able to give salaam to someone.

i decided to take the day off from exercise today (or maybe do a light yoga routine once my breakfast sinks in in about.. oh, 3hrs time?) because my gluteus maximus and thighs and obliques hurt like keraazee. i tired out a new yoga routine ystrdy, some sort of hybrid that included dumbbells usage and man, my muscles everywhere hurted! mcm.. its beyond sakit that its hurted as oppose to just hurt.

no pain no gain so i say what doesnt kill me, makes me stronger. (in this case, literally if the pain on my arms are any indication =p)

i finally caught up with HSM3 ystrdy. first time i ever went to the odeon. yeap, im in my final year and only now i've been to the local cinema. and of all the movies that succeeded in making me go was one with zac efron. but i love chees-tastic movies and musicals. my only complaint is that sharpay didnt have a lot of numbers. banyak zefron and vadge singing sappy songs. and its a movie for kids, ppl!

sharpay's my fave character btw. shes so funny. and i love that she wears pink. illah had the nerve to say 'mcm c rabz tu' at the scene where sharpay came to school in her pink convertible wearing pink alligator boots... for the record, i do not wear that much pink.

oh, but i did wear pink ystrdy. coz it was pink hijab day, for breast cancer awareness. didnt see any other hijabis while out ystrdy tho so i didnt feel any sort of sisterhood feel.. oh well.

HSM3 still rocks.

speaking of cheese (coz the movie's cheesy?), i have to cut out cheese and chocolate from the diet for a bit because of recent migrane attacks. i still have the occasional chocolate drink plg.. hee (to compensate!). but as far as snacking goes, its zilch. which is such a shame because my housemates have been literally stuffing the fridge with all sorts of chocolate heavenly goodness to make even the most self-proclaimed chocoholic cry.

i didnt cry plg. coz i got me special k =p anyway, with the cheese and choc ban, i better be losing weight.

oh, a lil' something for ur viewing pleasure. friends from facebook have obviously seen this coz its my display picture.



this is yours truly in a dinky krispy kreme bag. i actually FIT IN A KRISPY KREME BAG THAT FITS A DOZEN BOXFUL OF GLAZED GOODNESS.

next project is to fit into the krispy kreme box itself.

i kid. haha.

much love,
be'ah the krispy kreme gal

cellulite buster!

okay somebody asked abt a cellulite workout a couple of weeks ago. its not my habit to actually do this, but it was an unusual request and altogether intriguing. so this is for u, check shape.com for more stuff =)

www.shape.com >> Routines




and sorry for the lack of updates. been busy. mcm i feel a kind of rebirth of my relationship with law. i finally am enjoying my course for what it truly is. hee. on the exercise front, im considering joining the uni gym. but me has to gets proper trainers first and all this requires moolah that i is lacking!

huhu.


much love,
be'ah-who-now-has-no-life-because-she's-so-busy-reading-law-textbooks

successful day

what defines a successful day for me?

i wake up early. do yoga/weights.

i multi-task. listen to a lecture (online) while doing weights/getting dressed/online window shopping/ cleaning my room.

i know what goes on in my seminars because i've done the readings before hand (as opposed to previous years, where i do the reading AFTER a seminar. tsk tsk)

i feel energized, happy and hyper!

i have an early dinner with my housemates, catch up with everyone on how they're doing.

i read my law books before bed.

then back to bed early for another successful day tomorrow.

=)

i love love LOVE all my modules this year. maybe because i actually understand whats going on. that said, i really should get a new pair of trainers. i left my old ones back in brunei and i should really make the most of the wonderful weather to go jogging.

im thinking nike ids but they take 3mths to be ready. and i doubt the weather will hold just for me to get nike ids. haha. but if i do get them, it'll definitely be pink. woot woot!

oh, and im thinking of taking up kickboxing. yes, a 180 from yoga but variety is the spice of life. or the spice of my dedication to exercise. lol. will see how this goes tho. planning to see the kickboxing coach on monday with a few friends who i managed to persuade to go with me.

to be honest, i have this image in my mind of jlo in that movie she did where she took up kickboxing. apakah nama that movie. macam coolios berabis. so yea.

making the most of my final year in UKC. wish me luck!

much love,
be'ah xoxo

on the other side

i still find it hard to digest that i am a size 6.

sorry. that was slap-bang in the face but i really dont knw how to put it in any other way.

i returned my jeans* ystrdy so now i am (again) jeans-less but for ONE pair. i had two pairs to begin with, one of them longgar but still wearable with a belt. SEKALI! i put them in the washing with my red pashmina and now it has a pink tint. now i love pink, but wearing pink-tinted denim is where i draw the line.

back to the story of i-cant-believe-i-am-a-size6.

for so long i have been on the weighty, plumpish (even overweight) side. now that im on the other side ie the size 6 side, i find its EVEN MORE DIFFICULT to find a pair of jeans.

or maybe its because i need the petite range.

during shopping ystrdy, i actually picked up size 8s because on the hanger, size 6 looks tiny. i was thinking, there's no way im fitting into jeans that small, so lets just save myself time and the hassle and get size 8s. sekali size 8 proved to be one size bigger. tried on the size 6 and voila, they fit. but oh gee the jeans seriously look miniscule on the hanger. illah had to keep saying 'but rabzz you ARE small!'.

anyhoo, looking for a pair of jeans in size 6 in the petite range was unsuccessful ystrdy.

so today, i stuffed myself with potato chips (actually finish half of a big bag) and a bar of kitkat chunky. to be honest, i dont knw why i did that. i AM happy to be this size, no less no more. but im concerned its going to go even less. so i think i can up my food consumption and stuff my face whilst still maintaining my exercise routine.

speaking of which, my weights arrived lastnight from amazon. i was out (in the quest to find a pair of jeans) and nis brought in my box, thinking they were books. she told me she was like 'banyak jua buku d balinya anie' while carrying it and when i told her they were weights, she said 'patuttah barat!!'.

poor nis. she carried 10kgs of dumbbells plus box and all. but hey, walaupun badannya damit, kuat kali ah masih. she even did a lil demonstration with my dumbbells after i unpacked them out of the box. anisah is very entertaining. haha.

anyway, my rant for today is basically the challenge of maintaining my weight as opposed to reducing my weight.

oh, and i still need a pair of jeans.


much love,
be'ah xoxo

*got my 17quid back because i hated the jeans. they were cold to wear outside and warm in the house. macam, apakan? no insulation kah..

funny

i still feel weird when i find i can fit into size 6 jeans.

i got new jeans today. its funny because now i find myself buying jeans because i need to, as opposed to because 'i want to'.

all my jeans are too longgar. i cant even hold it up proper with a belt because it bunches up too much in the waist/hip area. oh, and my belts dont even hold them up proper, because even on the last notch done up, the belt is slightly loose.

i had to resort to wearing a skirt today when i went out to find a pair of jeans. it was a nice day, the sun was out apa, but the wind was cold.. couldnt even find my tights to wear under my skirt!

so now i got myself a pair of jeans at a bargain price of 17quid (with student discount).

to be honest, the jeans i bought werent even ones i'd buy but i got them anyway because they fitted me nicely. macam, i could think of dozen other stuff i can buy for 17quid but because i cant go around in winter wearing skirts, the purchase was necessary.

now i need to give out/sell off my old stuff again.

speaking of purchases.. i ordered my weights online. hee.

i cant really say weather they're frivolous or essential buys because on the one hand.. i need it to maintain my weight/muscle mass/stress-reliever but on the other hand...

i could've made do with just yoga and pilates.

but the weights give me options. i can do strength training while reading (or more like strength training and watching tv) =D

anyhoo, its done. my dumbbells are on its way. mind you, i got my books first so i do have my priorities straight =p

oh, just a mention. over the summer i met two fellow bloggers who i only knw thru their blogs. nisya is one. well, we go way back to primary school but its only recently thru our blogs that we got acquainted again. second is the only person i knw who understands my weight obsession, Nisa! i met her on the plane on the way back to uk. its nice to finally meet ppl who u knw thru the internet!

okay, atu iklan sikit. anyhoo, wishing everyone goodluck for the start of term.

much love,
be'ah xoxo

mamma mia

so much to do. so little time.

it hasnt sunk in yet that i'm back in dreary grey England. somehow i managed to do a bit of yoga this morning. i think its the jetlag.

oh, i got my new phone today.



i call it Tallullah Belle, after Bruce Willis' and Demi Moore's youngest daughter. lol.





i miss home. and i miss you.

HARI RAYA IN BRUNEIII!!

hee. sorry for the caps but i'm just so excited to be spending a couple of days of raya here.

and i knw nobody bothers checking out blogs during raya but this is just to remind me of my raya here. so whenever i think 'damn i shouldn't have missed a week of school for raya!' if/when i struggle to catch up on what i missed, i have this post to remind me that it is all WORTH IT.

(and yes, i WILL catch up on what i missed. final year, final push, baby!)

first day of raya was ysrdy and oh em gee felt every bit as good as i remembered. went to kampong first (mummy's side) and met all my adorable littlr cousins and funny aunts and uncles and took a bazillion gajillion pictures which i do not have because i forgot to bring my camera *slaps forehead*

oh, and i everyone commented on how much weight i lost.. i think my baju raya helped highlight the weight loss hee. but did i think about calories or dieting or portion control ystrdy? nu-uh no sirreeee~ i stuffed myself with cakes and cookies and biscuits all the way through every house. especially the kek batiks. me loves kek batiks. and this year's kek batiks did not dissapoint me. psl ada some hses nda nyaman kan the kek batik (lol. not saying where but yea) but anie semuaaa nyaman!

left kampong around noon after getting boatloads of moneh (another reason for me to sambung belajar and not start work - so i still get duit raya!) and drove aaaaaalll the way to tutong to my nenek there (daddy's side). my fave cousins came 5 mins after my family arrived there so it was a big catch up fest. okay i dont mean to have favourites apa but these cousins were my only cousins on dad's side for a good 12 years and we grew up together. the rest of the cousins are 12years old below and we're the only 2 families with kids in their 20s and late teens.

anyhoo, after getting more moneh (more than i expected too! pasal aku kan belayar atu kali.. hehe) we convoyed over to dad's grandmother in panchor where we met up with iman's family and mamacits' family! the latter had a surprise for me.. one box of cupcakes waiting for me to get at her house. hee. moved next door of datu's house to nini yem where we all just talked about how 'everyone's so big', 'how iman's so tall' and meet cousins that i've only seen in pictures.

i think that was the best bit. meeting adorable cute kids who i want to gigit when i see pictures of them.. then actually seeing them live in their cute little baju fesyen and dangly earring (awuu belabih baru 1 yea plus sudah be piercing!) but i didnt gigit becoz nanti the parents marah. haha.

and everyone went 'eh be'ah balum kau balik?' and all that. hee. it felt GREAT seeing everyone. some i havent seen for a good decade, believe it or not. oh, and the last house i visited lastnite was at my nini amit and my uda and i go wayyyy back. she was the one who 'smuggled' me into Brunei Hall back in '98 when my family went to london for a holiday (and she was a final year student then). so yea, i was only 12 when i first slept in BH. and now she has two kids and oh my they're soooo adorable!!!

kids are just adorable. full stop.

today, second day raya. but today's extra special bekos it will be the first raya i spend with my boyfriend. =D and we got matching bajus! haha. i knw its nauseating/lame/annoying /watever u wanna call it but hey, we're in love bah!

selamat hari rayaaaaaa!!!!!

much love,
be'ah xoxo

final assessment

ystrdy was my last day at the gym for 2008. and tims time, i really mean it. im leaving for uk in 3 days time.

anyhoo, i gave up my strength training during puasa and yes, it shows. my muscles percentage went down and my fat went up. but the latter i think is more because of my cupcake crazy binge last weekend lol.

the most obvious change? my arms lost their almost-toned quality. its now back to being squidgy and all soft.

one more day of puasa. and then hari raya.

i. cannot. wait. for. HARI RAYA! first time in brunei after two years away!

much love,
be'ah xoxo

more and more cupcakes (and cookies)

and you guys think i cant possibly get any more cupcakes right? or that i should actually have enough of them?

here's the thing. i spent my last 2 nights over at my mamacits. sleepovers at her place always equals food overload but this time, with her reputation as cupcake maker extraordinaire and busy baking to meet clients' orders.. its now cupcake overload.

because i sleepover, i can do up my cupcakes any way i want. she's got bowlfuls of frosting and i help myself to them. i take a chocolate cupcake and pile it up with vanilla frosting and peanut butter icing. i take a peanut butter cupcake and add cream cheese icing with oreos. and the list goes on.

such are the possibilities. it was like having my own cupcake bar. and i also got to practise on applying the frosting and of course, having not succeeded and rendering it un-sale-able, i proceed to devour the 'mistake' i made.

of course all this has taken such an all time high of sugar intake in my diet. and i didnt even go to the gym...

but so what? soon i'll be leaving and there wont be anymore citscakes. so im enjoying it while it lasts. in the meantime, yes my weight has gone slightly up (in just TWO DAYS!) but i have a pre-raya workout plan. its intensive yoga and pilates these next two days before hari raya. and i definitely feel sluggish after all the cupcakes i've had. so time to UP to stamina =)

anyhoo, raya is around the corner, so i'd like to wish each and every one of u guys selamat hari raya, maaf zahir dan batin.

much love,
be'ah xoxo <---- pasal aku suka gossipgirl. haha.

more cupcakes

as the title suggests.. i bought more cupcakes from mamacits.

i took a nap ystrdy patang and somehow, i had this urge to go check her blog as soon as i woke up. in my groggy state, i typed in her web address skali lo and behold! she's selling extra cupcakes!

my not-fully-awake-self automatically reached for the phone to book one (of only two!!) box of the cupcakes.

and my timing was just right. she just posted the post mere minutes b4 i texted about the extra cupcakes.

nyahahaha. so yea, now i've tried her peanut butter cupcakes. a bit too rich for my liking because the frosting is peanut butter-flavoured but nda ku menyasal membali! she says the peanut butter ones are her best-selling ones yatah i wanted to try. maybe if i didnt exercise so much i wud've liked them even more. so far, my favourite flavour are her smores. super duper yummy!

anyhoo, it hasnt sink in yet that i'm leaving next week. instead, i'm more gearing up for raya. went to the dentist today for my regular check-up and per usual, i asked for a clean-up ie scaling.

dentist: why do u want to clean ur teeth? ur teeth are already so white!
me: really? but i like having my teeth cleaned. plus i'm paranoid about my teeth.
dentist: you dont smoke and you dont drink coffee. yes your teeth are white.
me: but we can still clean my teeth right?
dentist: yes of course. open wide!

haha apakan. i felt like a 5 yr old again when he said 'open wide' atu. but yea, he said my teeth are white! and clean too. and to think i was worried that my teeth were starting to yellow. true that i dont smoke and i avoid coffee when i can, but i love tea and tea stains teeth as much as coffee so the dentist's pronouncement that my teeth are white and clean is such a relief!

thats why i love going to the dentist. no, not the compliments (altho they are, of course, a bonus) but its the professional opinion i get. i also love getting my teeth professionally cleaned. its like, gearing up for hari raya la tu. ppl go for facials, haircuts manis and pedis but for me, its the dentist first!

and yes, i am paranoid abt my teeth, i worry they will fall out when i reach old age (thanx to my constant sugar-high diet) or go yellow on me or a million other reasons. obviously, my concerns are more for vanity's sake than health's sake, but hey, they're interrelated so wahetever makes me jaga my teeth is good with me.

(altho i do hate flossing. lol)

have a good last week of ramadhan everyone. get ur teeth checked!

much love,
be'ah xxxxxxxxx

cupcake day!

i indulged myself today.

i had an overload of sugar attack, courtesy of my mamacits' (increasingly) famous cupcakes.

me hads the smores and the red velvet. yummmyyyy~ skali when i came to pick them up, they were fresh fresh fresh out of the oven and still piping hot and oh-em-gee the smell was just heavenly! and all the frosting she had in big bowls! cream cheese! vanilla! peanut butter!

aaagh.. kalau bukan puasa i wud've licked each and every bowl and spoon.

(haha. mcmtah ia suruh. untuk d jual kali ah cupcakes aah)

anyhoo, i was saying. the smores were absolutely deelish. crumbly and soft and oh so chocolatey and yummy. and the red velvet is an all-time fave. first time in a long time i ate without actually thinking i need to burn off the calories when i next visit the gym. after amani said i am 'tiny like isham', i can afford to put on a few pounds.

hee.

the sugar rush makes me all hyper. too bad mamacits doesnt accept orders anymore. she has her hands full with orders all the way through first week of raya. and she works alone too.

but at least she's earning money. hehe.

yummy yummy smores. i am rambling. but a burden has been lifted off my chest. i found a housemate =)

oh, and the idea of buying a new pink fone makes me all fuzzy. finally a purchase thats practical rather than just based on frivolous impulses.

i sooo LOVE mamacits' smores cupcakes!

much love,
be'ah xxxxxxxxx

tickle me pink

kelmarin i was all mental-y (read: bad mood to the baddest of the worst to high heavens), scolding my brothers left and right for the smallest things and snapping at even the slightest question from anyone who dared approached me with something silly.

all because i cannot find my other phone, which has my uk sim card in it.

it has mysteriously dissapeared from my side table drawer, despite never having been opened since june when i put the phone in there for safety's sake (because nobody opens that drawer.)

but then i started thinking. no sim card means i need to get a new one.

sooooo......

why dont i get a new phone while im at it?
(and this is not me throwing away money. the uk has great deals on sim cards plus phones)

naturally i want a pink one.

but i'm torn between these two.

the sony ericsson w580i


or

the samsung u600 (and it says its exlusive?)


both are priced the same AND they're both just a gorgeous shade of pink, dontcha think? me thinks im more inclined towards the sony one tho... hee =D

how simple it is to make me un-mental.

much love,
be'ah xxxxxxxxxx

p/s i havent gone to the gym for two days...

Proud Mama

guess who i saw ystrdy???

the uber-adorable Hana Banana Munchachakins!!!

i dont have pictures of her. i was too preoccupied and distracted by her adorableness. lol.

i felt like a proud mama when i saw her. she's the cousin who was born in london last year so i got to see loads of her when i babysat for her. and i first saw her when she was just a mere 3 weeks old.. and now she's walking and talking and bouncing. hee. to see her grow from such an itty bitty baby (she was sooo petite as a baby!) into a tall toddler (thank god she got her dad's tall genes and not her mum's/my not-so-tall genes) is tres wonderful!

she wasnt so bouncy ystrdy tho cause she just woke up from a nap.. but she was adorable nevertheless! and she can give flying kisses!! i shud've visited her more often now that we're both in brunei!

u guys prolly dont knw who i'm talking about and all this is gibber jabber to u.. but i've mentioned her wayyyy back when i first saw her. and there were pictures then too. so if u remember that post (which i cant be bothered to link here), put that face in a smiley baby with hair in two braids.

all together now..

'awwwwwwwww kiyyut juaaa!!!'

hehe. apakan. i'm kinda hyper. its the stress i tell u. oh, and i got my hair permed again. curly hair makes me bouncy. lol.

did pilates today. and with a bigger and much heavier exercise ball. i was struggling to keep the huge ball between my legs; sudahtah kaki ku pindik, pakai bula xtra basar lgi tu. but then, rose was teaching and she has short legs too so if she can hold the ball between her legs, then i can too!

talk about a random post. which i believe i havent been doing in a while.

oh oh, one more last thing.

have u guys tried the kueh malaya/apam balik with chocolate chips? it is DIVINE! sugar attack obviously, what with the sugar and susu manis and choc rice and crush nuts but do i care?

no. bekos i got my yoga and pilates. my yogalates. apanyaa.. mcm madonna kan be yogalates.

tis stress i tell u. and ya think ppl who exercise dont suffer from stress hah? if someone can magically conjure a girl housemate for me, only then my stress will dissapear.

much love,
be'ah xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

yoga on empty tummy

feels fab =)

granted, first time i did yoga while fasting, i was knackered out the moment i reached home and took a nap instead of a shower first thing i got back.

(ewww. i knw. all sweaty poo and i tidur first)

but then again, that day i did some runs on the treadmill out of habit's sake. my usual rountine is 30mins elliptical/treadmill, weights then yoga or pilates. so with ramadhan, i have to cut back on my cardio. obviously i was being my usual pushy self, thinking im some sort of wonderwoman who can do the same strenuous rigorous workout without having to eat/drink. mcm apakan aku ah. walaupun gila gym.

so i've lessened my weights reps and running at most is for 5mins. or i brisk walk for 30mins. just enough to get my heart pumping and myself glowing [with sweat] before doing yoga or pilates.

now i know what i can and can't do while fasting so i wont be sprawled on the bed the moment i get home. honestly, if it werent for ramadhan i don't think i'd ever feel so in tune with how my body moves during yoga because i'd be busy guzzling water but now, its like WOW. total rediscovery.

(now i can do the headstand and the Crow better. and i FINALLY can do the vinyasa/crocodile properly!)

i've mentioned before that yoga is supposed to be done on an empty stomache but i've never really heeded that piece of advice because i'd be doing cardio first and i'd need water to keep me going right. but gee, now that i've done yoga like this, its like

'why did i not listen before?'

just shows you really don't know whats good for you till you try it.

sigh. wonders of ramadhan, ey?

only thing i'm worried of is losing my muscle mass what with me cutting out my strength training to almost nil. and my arms were already showing definition!

oh well oh well. puasa comes first, of course. maybe i'm better off with flabby arms anyway. if i have super defined and toned arms kan d apa jua? bukannya org kan meliat. huhu.

that's all for now. i knooow right. time puasa anie pun kan cakap pasal gym. haha.

much love,
be'ah xxxxxxxxxxx

brothers

a recent conversation with my youngest brother:

'ka, abgmali handsome kah?'

'awu la. handsome berabis'

'haha. abgmali kerabau!'

'ah? apakan lai?'

'nda.. abg muaz [brother4] bagitau alai handsome dlm spain kerabau ertinya abgmali kerabau.'

buleeeh ia kana bagitau handsome in spanish is kerabau? on top of that, he believed it because now he doesnt want to call himself handsome, unlike the countless times he would randomly call out 'alai handsome'.

handsome=kerabau. wat next huh?

oh, yoga during ramadhan is fantastic! makes my tummy tighter; or at least i feel like its tighter than norm. will do an extensive post on yoga soon.

much love,
be'ah xxxx

i love..

been feeling a bit under the weather coz its finally sinking in that i'll be leaving soon. so to make myself feel better, i'm listing out some of the things i love =)



dark chocolate
i know some ppl find it bitter.. but i love how its bitter yet sweet at the same time. plus, if it helps with my diet (its an anti-oxidant and wayy less calories than milk choc), why not?






babies
happy smiley bouncy babies. even those crying ones, as long as they stop crying after feeding/changing/sleep (haha ada lgi tu). toddlers included as well. basically kids that i can still pick up and carry in my arms/on my hips.









gorgeous perfume bottles
i have a few that i dont use but i bought them just bcoz the bottles are nice. like my JPG summer edition perfume hehe. daisy is next on the list. i love love the plastic daisies on the bottle!







(virgin) pina colada
its funny. i dont like pineapple or coconut juice on its own but u combine the two and its just MAGIC! villa mauri does an absolutely orgasmic version with vanilla ice-cream. yum! granted the calories are WAY high, but we're not counting calories are we?







friends getting engaged/married
yes, im jealous. but i AM really happy for these friends because i know how much they've wanted it and now thats its happening, i get all excited and buzzed up as if I'M the one getting married. haha munie can bear witness to this. i guess makin ramai my friends kawin shows that my turn is around the corner? insyaAllah =)





toned arms
when i can wave bye-bye without my flabby triceps following suit..





hugs
pre-requites are squishy non-sweating ppl. bonus are fat and nice-smelling ones. a good hug should last more that a couple of seconds and preferably tall should i decide to bawl on hugged person's shoulder (which isnt a hard thing reli, considering im only 5ft tall).


u wnna be on top? hahahaha one of my guilty pleasures. i knw the show's ratings have gone down but i love love watching it despite getting annoyed with the judges and the comments they give. i mean, how EXACTLY do u smile with your eyes?



much love,
be'ah xxx

but i don't wanna go...

i have been enjoying my summer immensely.

for the first time ever, i DONT feel lazy or lethargic nor do i want to rush back to writing essays and going to lectures despite the long long holiday.

must be the gym, ey?

i'm flying back on the 5th of october.

i want hari raya to come soon so i can see everyone, but i dont want it to come so soon either coz it means i only have a couple of days left in brunei.

i wanna take my mum, my boyfriend and my gym trainer to UK please.

and i want it to be less cold this winter.

and can i just wear pyjamas on my flight back?

Plan B

this post is dedicated to FarahHA yg merasa boring d bulan yang mulia ini. altho this post has nothing to do with her, d harap isi kandungan ini dpt d manfaatkan nya dengan sebaiknya apabila menjadi mahasiswi d Belfast nanti. (ceeewaaah mcm buat speech untuk kursus civic.)

i went to the gym this morning.

evidently i cant just (sort of) let myself go this ramadhan.

but i am only human. i only stopped by the gym to check whether entry really is FREE during puasa (and if not, i was gonna get myself a 15day gym pass) and lo and behold, IT IS!

exclusive to non members only plg since members would have already paid their membership fee. but as my membership card expired last sunday, i'm technically a non-member, or in the words of rose 'an inactive member' which is essentially the same thing.

pokok pangkalnya im still going to the gym.

just.
because.
its.
FREE!

but yea i wont be doing any weights or steps class. just some yoga and pilates will do, which the lazy turtle encouraged me to do. i had to check with ka alin tho how it felt to do yoga time puasa. i know lazy turtle said it felt great but shes a true inside out yogini so mebbe its just her kan. hee. i met ka alin tdi and she said yoga felt great despite fasting so HURRAY thats my green light!

the problem now is adjusting my sleeping pattern. time puasa anie, like most ppl i tend to take long afternoon naps and only wake up for prayers and my chauffeur duties. so it'll be a new thing for me to wake up early after alredi being up 2hrs b4 for sahur.

im sure i can manage tho. especially since the gym is FREE.

i love saying free. haha. bah ramai2x tah dtg ke FZ time puasa anie. do a bit of yoga and pilates to keep ur figure lest u cant fit into ur baju raya!

and i still have a few sessions with rose left. imma do them when its the time of the month so i wont be dehydrated during the workout. plus, only this morning i realised how far ive come with weights training - my arms are toned! well, not toned in any jennifer garner or angelina jolie way, but way much much more toned than before i started strength training and its finally showing. so yayyy for me!

anyhoo, going to the gym during puasa is my sikrit plan. sorry to dissapoint if u guys expected something more dishy hehe but coming from me, what can u expect? its like i eat live and breathe for the gym lol.

oh, im still waiting for mamacits to give me her greenlight on when i can have her cupcakes! last2x tunggu raya tah jua nie~ but i'll be thre early supaya i get my fair share. hah!

illah says ur smores cupcakes are yummy. i hope u have cupcakes masa ur open hse! or the very least, for ur nieces and nephews!


see how i jump from gym to cupcakes? tsk.

much love,
be'ah xxxxxxxx

UPDATE:
rose just texted me and im only entitled to the free gym pass if i renew my membership next month. soo... imma get meself a 15days pass.

but non members can still come for free i tink.

my sikrit plan

thank you to the Panyu Malas for giving me the little nudge i need.

hee. speaking of which, i cant do a proper lazy turtle. my arms just wont go out straight.

anyhoo, i will tell all about my plan tomorrow once it gets underway.

in the meantime, jaga2x nafsu segala nafsu! time puasa anie kalau sudah kan sungkai, macam2x tah kan d bali tu d gerai and then u get back home and cant even finish all u bought.

tis one of the fundamental rules of dieting. never ever go grocery shopping when ur hungry 'cause u buy more unnecessary stuff. so save duit atu untuk kawin.

(what u say? a few dollars wont make a difference in the wedding fund? yes it will! it adds on to one more campur and we all know bruneians love to take more than their share of campurs at weddings. or maybe its just the weddings i go to.)

have in mind that ur parut shrinks during the day bcoz of fasting, so a smaller portion than usual is needed. jgn gelojoh yes? just because u havent eaten all day doesnt mean u need to eat 2 portions (or more) at sungkai.

its already the 2nd day of puasa and i've run out of ideas for sungkai dishes. being lady of the house is payah when u have 9 different appetites and tastebuds to please. thank God my momma is coming home tonight.


oh, one more thing. di bulan yg mulia ini, i am hired once again as chauffeur for the yayasan brothers. back to regular driving then. i was already comfy being driven around by the boyfren. who already starts work anyway.

mmbah. till the next post of my secret plan. nyahahahahahaha.

much love,
be'ah

Au Revoir FZ

the time has come for me to bid goodbye to my (almost) daily dose of workouts at the gym.

tomorrow is the first day of puasa and however much i'd like to continue going to the gym, it just isn't an option to workout in a food deprived state. i can go after tarawih prayers but i just dont see myself going to the gym at 9pm. plus, my bedtime's at 10pm lol.

so today i had my last and final gym session and PT with rose and to celebrate with a bang, i went to the kiulap branch. that gym always intimidates me (psl its lgi canggih dari mall kali? and more ppl go there?) but today, with rose around, it was brilliant! it was only my 3rd time there today and the 2 previous times were to use the hall to play badminton.. so i was pretty sakai with all the spiffy and much more canggih gym stuff they have there. even tried the rock-climbing wall lol.

today was like saying goodbye to a very good old friend. after a quickie body conditioning class with timmy, rose made me go on the treadmill for a bit and then i went and tried out all the spiffy weight machines they have as opposed to doing the dumbbells workout i do at the mall. we managed to climb a few metres up the rock-climbing wall (super duper fun i tell you!) and then some stretching, where rose practicaly pulled my arms off =p

then i discovered that the gym has a food bar! with ice cream!!! and cookies!!

i was all sakai abt it and told rose about it. she said 'of course la. after exercise, u feel good u eat ice cream la'

0-o this is coming from my trainer who just last week said (indirectly) parutku labu!

then she said the ice cream was there for ppl who wanted some mixed in with their protein shakes. oh my gee i was sooo sakai at the food choices and all. after a quick shower i sat down with rose for some ice cream and cookies, kinda like a farewell thingamajig i suppose. hey, at least i had the food with rose, so anytime tyres start to appear around my midriff again, imma be blaming her!

i also had my last examination today -ie the magic machine that tells how fat i am. the kiulap one's was more canggih with some bars for me to hold.. i got excited all over again that rose had to tell me to stay still twice. mcm apakan aku ah.. nda pernah ke gym kali pakah lol. but seriously, it was all so new to me i felt like i just rediscovered myself!

awu, sakai to the max bah.

anyhoo, my last exam turned out great! well, my fitness level is still buruk compared to pre singapore, btu i'll work on that after puasa. i found out my left leg is fatter than my right leg.. like, my left leg carries more fat mass that the right one. which explains why my right is stronger than the other. rose says its normal plg. but i am happy to say that both my arms carry equal fat ie my arms are equally strong! woo hoo. rose said 'wow' at this so im guessing its not normal. haha but yea. all the numbers on the paper that came out of the machine looked good so i'm happy to just (sort of) let myself go this ramadhan.

i said in a previous post anyway that i'm just gonna depend on puasa for weight management. plus, theres tarawih prayers, which will be like yoga anyway.

speaking of which, i skipped yoga today to do PT with rose and in the locker room found from the aunties that will was looking for me. in the words of ka alin 'will sed u dont sayang him nomore'

haha. man, im so attached to everyone and everything related to the gym. im gonna miss rose with her never-faltering smile, wills with his stern look when i do something wrong, lyza with her 'i fell fat' and michelle's calm voice and all the aunties i see every morning! oh well, till next year.

might as well get the most out of ramadhan kan. selamat berpuasa everybodeh! see u guys d gerai ramadhan (hehehe) or better, d masjid if we happen to terawih at the same place.

much much love,
be'ah xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Final Weekend

was looking forward to do latin aero and bodybalance ystrdy. came to the gym just before 8 (im getting later everyday ever since coming back from singapore) and looked out for michelle's face.

8 o'clock came by.. then ten past. okayy, maybe she's late. it happened last year with rose because she had an aerobic session to do with some ministry function. so i hopped on the elliptical trainer and did 15mins on the fat burner.

8.35 and still no michelle. i cudve asked the receptionist, but i was sweating as it is so i decided to get on the bike for an alpine pass. 15mins into it and Angie came in asking why i wasnt in class with michelle. i was panting by that time trying to keep my breathing steady, so Angie asked the cleaner where michelle was.

'Michelle sick, maam'.

okay... if michelle's sick ie not coming that would mean classes are CANCELLED then how come her classes were still WRITTEN ON THE BOARD??

see, i love the gym. i love that it gives me the opportunity to exercise, shows me the potential i can be when i sweat regularly but this is not the first time that the gym has failed me on the class schedule because of poor communication between staff.

rose's pilates class was put up on the board on the day she went to thailand. i asked the receptionist who was giving it and she gave me this puzzled look, as if I'M stupid for not reading the board because it CLEARLY states ROSE next to PLATES 8AM, that rose was giving it.

'but rose is going to thailand this morning'

'oh. really? well.. let me check then'.

she replied with a smile tho. but it CLEARLY showed she didnt know rose was off to thailand. like hello? dont u guys have those weekly staff meetings or something? how come I know rose went off to thailand and YOU dont?

another incident was when they closed the mall branch because of the kiulap's one year anniversary. the next morning i came, a lady was complaining to the receptionist (the very same one) that she wasnt informed that the mall's was closed, that she came the morning and there was no notice watsoever regarding why the mall's branch was closed.

the receptionist's reply? 'I'm sorry ma'am. but my colleague forgot to put up the notice the night before'

i'd say this isnt one of those things that u can be forgiven easily. plus, FZ said they texted their members abt it and to come to kiulap instead. i didnt receive the text. neither did angie. i only knew abt it after reading rano's site.

which is funny really. because when i was in uk, i got a text from them to invite me to come to their annual dinner. sudah ku d brunei, nada text atu. and my brunei number is the same, fyi.

yes this is a post dedicated to the weakness of the gym. i think its long due anyway. despite all this, i still love coming to the gym. i love the friends i make there and i love that i have a place to go to in the morning.

anyway. this weekend's workout was so-so. after 25mins on the bike, i stayed to chat with angie for awhile (in which we talked about some of the aforementioned topics) and i was whisked away by boyfriend to have some yummylicious ikan kari at iskandar.

i was out lastnite (MUNIE'S AND WAFI'S TUNANG!!!) so i was too tired to be up and abot by 8.which is just as well, since i cancelled my session with rose because of my aching shoulders. must be the combination of my strength training on friday and my late nite on saturday. today was supposed to be my last day at the gym tho

BUT

while talking with angie ystrdy, she pointed out the gym's advertisement in the newspaper she was reading. it screamed FREE WORKOUT DURING PUASA and then continued to list down the gym's unique stuff like sauna yada yada. oh, and it also said BRING YOUR FRIENDS FOR FREE TOO'. there it was again. the word 'free'. i examined every inch of the advertisement looking for a catch or a loophole (again, another topic that can be talked abt endlessly with my gym mates! but that'll be for another day) but i cant find any loophole.

so if they stick to their word, i might still be coming to the gym during puasa for yoga. but im still skeptical, after all, what is really free nowadays anyway?

sheesh. such a long post. negative lgi tu padahal kan puasa. oh yes, i finally watched wall-e today. and introduced Brother 5 to sushi. he likes it so yayy! ada support for sushi for next family dinner!

i'mma go now. selamat berpuasa everybodeh!

much love,
be'ah

parut ku labu

during pilates today, in the midst of our usual crunches, my trainer exclaimed:

'wah rabz. u really did gain weight ah. ur tummy not as nice as before singapore!'

kurang asam.

sudah tah my fitness level turun, today i cant even run for a 15mins stretch. been feeling sooooo lethargic!

but after pilates, rose made me go on the tanita machine (as opposed to me requesting to get on it. i think she's worried all our PT sessions had gone to waste because of my singapore getaway) and we found that i DID NOT gain weight. in fact, i even lost a tiny teeny percent of body fat.

thus rose concluded that my tummy is labu because 'no crunches in singapore baah. not toned anymoree'.

i'd rather not lose that tiny percentage of bodyfat if it means sacrificing my almost flat abs.

oh well. one more PT session on sunday and then its puasa time! i still need to adjust my food portions. been eating giant portions since coming back. time puasa lgi tia.. wat with the food fest during sungkai.

speaking of food, me and bf tried out the new deli france that just opened at the airport. i used to love their croissant sandwiches when they were in yayasan, and i adore their almond croissants. ystrdy me and him has a proper lunch tho. the french onion soup was deeelish! must try when u guys go there!

much love,
be'ah xxx

Bodystep

went to the gym today (but of cooourse! lol). thursdays are my fave days for gyming because theres steps at 8, followed by yoga at 9. its the only day i feel i reli work up a sweat because no matter how lazy or down or tired i feel, i am forced to push myself because other ppl in the class can do it, or do it better.

today was extra tough. i thought it was prolly coz i was away ie fitness level not up to par like before. sekali went to rano's site and saw the launching of bodysteps.

PATUTTAH!

Ms Rose Pradel who he mentioned is none other than my Rose, my trainer, who went away to thailand last week.

so her classes are now tougher. takes time getting used to plg. i was alredi used to her old routine. but then, i wont be gyming once ramadhan starts, so next year la.

i lost half a kilo. which proves half of the kilo i gained was water weight. susspeeen-ded. anyhoo, tomoro i have PT with rose~ one of my last sessions with rose b4 i stop coming to the gym *sob* but tis okeh. i have puasa to look to for weight maintenance hehe.

one more thing, di kesempatan ini i'd like to congratulate MUNIE AND WAFI on their imminent engagement on saturday. CONGRATULATIONS U GUYS!

yes, im jealous. haha. but my turn witll come insyaAllah. every one of u guys reading this, amin kan nie! lol

much love,
be'ah xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Alive and Well

i arrived in brunei monday night.

gained ONE EFFIN' KILO from singapore.

but no lasting damage done i think. went straight to the gym tuesday morning =D did the usual weight reps. my arms are aching today tho. so i took the day off today. me thinks its the whole travelling from sg to bru then tarus ke gym esuknya kali. mcm.. jetlag kali? lol

boyfren is on leave (again. yayy!) and we had sushi (wat else?) for dinner lastnite. and he brought with him the best best best surprise EVER!



gigantic plg and it was mucho heavy. it wasnt even our anniversary or my birthday. but i love surprises and i love flowers even more, so not complaining!

now my room carries the heady scent of lilies~ *GRIN*

thank u sayaaang!

anyhoo, tonite dinner at rezzy's. seeing the portugal geng tonite and i know wani rindu saya =p haha

much love,
be'ah xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

stuff it

i went berserk at Candy Empire ystrdy.

so there goes my almost flat abs.

bekos they have COOKIES AND CREAM kitkat!!!

AND

COOKIE DOUGH kitkat!!!


chunky lagi tu! oh dear i think i'm getting chunky. sokay. theres 5days of gym left and then puasa.


oooh, and i also got meself a pair of levis. like, if i gain an inch waist-wise, i'll need to work it off anyway in order to get back into them. smart kan?


hope evryone is enjoying barunai!

much love,
be'ah xxxxx

p/s to my dear brothers, do not fret! kaka bali kan brg kamu sudah. jgn complain if nda suka. syukur tah kaka ingat kamu :p

UPDATED:

i also got strawberries and cream cookies from crabtree&evelyn! sinfully deeelissh!

awu membabi ku d singapore. so i am a NORMAL human being who also succumbs to society's marketing pressure haha.

there, its not ALL exercise and weights. but then again, after all the strength training and cardio i do, i think i can afford to membabi for a few days.
(read: my metabolism is faster than last year)

PLUS- all the walking and my arms ladenful of shopping bags equals cardio and weights anyhoo. at least, thats what i tell myself hehe.

belayar ku yowh

in 2 hrs imma be on the flight to singapore with the other half on the flight deck aka cockpit.

soo...... expect me to bag more shoes in the land of sales and aggressively convincing salespeople!

oh, this also means im taking a a break from the gym. but i tink i over-exerted myself thet last couple of days coz my tummy hurts when i laugh. so much-needed holiday indeed!

much love,
be'ah xxx

easy-listening

im overdosing on calming acoustic-y songs lately. jason mraz tops the spot of course.

me laaaaavs his duet with caillat in lucky. also been on repeat are her bubbly and realize songs. they keep playing 'realize' at the gym jua. its a bit of an oxymoron to me coz i like listening to her songs while lying on my back staring at the ceiling. y'know, just taking in her guitar skills. even better, sometimes Brother 4 plays acoustic for me. but then i have to sing. in other words, i *erm* spoil the song. haha.

so yea, when they play it at the gym, i tend to go slower on my treadmill. like reeeeeeal slow while i take in the view of masjid jame' and semeo voctech (the latter which i do not think of quite fondly).

jason mraz's i'm yours is always a favourite of the girl receptionist at the gym. how do i know this? coz its always on every 10mins and i knw only the receptionist spins the songs the blares on the gym's speakers. oh, and she likes usher too. the number of times i listened to 'separated' 'u got it bad' and the likes while pumping iron. hee. but me likey coz i can sing along to it. time shower pun nyanyi. haha.

oh, another fave of mine is 'bring me flowers' from hope. first heard it from rosiekins. thankyews bery much rosie. they dont play it at the gym tho, which is a good thing coz its one of those songs that i need to be in my most relaxed state, not while i'm running 7:03mins per km.

i wish i can play guitar. mcm awesome brabis. the thing is, i've had countless lessons from different ppl and i always give up because my fingers cant bend that way or my fingernails cant stand the pressure of pressing the strings.

imma stick to guitar hero then and leave the guitaring skills to caillat and mraz.

much love,
be'ah xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

my weakness

i found another food that affects me the same way krispy kreme donuts do to me. it may not have the popularity as the brand or as heard of like the donut, but it nevertheless is a strong contender in knocking off The Donut off the top of my to-be-kept-to-a-minimum-when-around-me list.

because whenever this new competitor is in abundance and within my reach, i try to demolish the whole lot until only an empty pyrex is left, only to feel the guilt of my gluttony when i see the scales go up by even 200grams.

the food is question is kueh bom.

nyamaaaaaaaaan nyamoo! i guess in a way its similar to the donut. they're glutinous balls covered in sesame seeds filled with either crushed-up nuts or red bean paste. oh, and they're fried too. deep-fried at that. so its basically carbs fried in fat filled with sugar. as opposed to The Donut which is carbs fried in fat topped with sugar (unless u count the creme/custard/choc filled ones).

skali tadi for tea there was kueh bom on the table, just inviting me to demolish the whole lot. banyak lagi tu! (well, between the 7 of us plus dad, we can usualy finish off watever's on the table plg) i took one, then went of to pick up Brother 6 from school. it was like, if i stayed around longer i wud've eaten more than i needed so i had to get out quick. dramatic plg story nya nie but true story! bukan skema.. if im using the word right? hehe

came back with Brother 6. i checked dining room table. aarrgh. still banyak kueh bom. took another one and went to my room. decided i was thirsty so went to the kitchen to get water. passed the dining table so i took another one. came back to my room. just before 5, went out to pick up Brother 5 and upon coming back, took another kueh bom.

then i thought, nda jua siuk nie denying myself of what i want. sudah d uk mana ada, krg menyasal. so i sat at the dining table, took another one and started reading today's newspaper.

had another ball while reading and my eyes feel upon an article about weight loss. skali it said jgn makan time buat other things eg reading watching tv. i looked to my right hand where the evidence of a half-eaten kueh bomb was still there. finished it up and went back to my room.

i was okay for about 5mins skali i went to the dining room again, just to check if masih ada atau nda kueh bom. its like i cant be at peace till i know its all gone so i dont have to fear eating another one unnecessarily. lo and behold, there were 3 kueh boms left!

i automatically took one.

tinggal 2. i think i was the only one interested in eating the kueh. mcm nda begarak wah dari meja ah. but then i had a brilliant idea.

to the living room at large, where 4 brothers were doing their own thing (from rubik's cube sawing -dont ask- to homework) i asked 'shapa mau kueh bom?'

Brother 2 and Brother 4 said 'mauuuu'. so i promptly gave them each one kueh bom. there. all gone.

i can finally be at peace. how convenient it is having brothers! oh, and i've decided to call them by their order ie Brother 1, Brother 2 and so forth. psl confusing when i keep saying 'my brother' all the time.

anyhoo..

doing weights tomoro. i'm liking pumping iron more than cardio lately. prolly coz strength training boosts metabolism more than cardio does, so will definitely kill off the unnecessary kueh boms i had.

much love,
be'ah xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

oooooooohhhhhhhhmmmmmm

so u gotta practice what u preach right. bekos eksyen speaks louder than werds.

ooohhhhhhmmmmmmmmmm.

learnt loads of new stuff today. among them:

i kenot drink/eat an hour before, during and an hour after yoga.

awu kesian aku anie. sekian lama prektis yoga, barutah tau.
and you think i'm a true yogini.

thank u wills for the info. tho it came a mighty bit late. and since we're still on yoga, u cant do yoga inversions ie yg kapla d bawah kaki d atas while u have ur period too. well, michelle says u can do it by the 3rd day. im not sure wats will's take on this.

moving on.

kemarin i killed my ass of in the gym. my arms and quads were still sore this morning. but it was worth it. psl semlm alicakes had a bday bajigy at capers and i ate loads. loads to the point that i literally felt my jeans cut into my tummy. and this doesnt happen anymore (as of late) until last night. mcm, maybe i've mentioned it in a couple of previous posts but atu all exaggerations. anie betul2x terjadi.

and gawd my waist hurted when the waitband cut in :s

but thanx ali for the invites. and the cake was yummy, so thank u to whoever was responsible for the cake.

after capers i stumbled into my aunts and uncle in coffee zone; 3 sisters and a husband. sekaliii upon seeing my bf at my side, one asked 'and you are?' (in a nice aunty-ish way la tu) to which my boyfren promptly replied,

'zul amali' (hehe kiyyut kan. i know! thats why i date with him =p)

then my other aunt said 'we know... thru facebook'

hahahahahahahahaha. cant believe she actually said that. but then, if u knw them, its not reli surprising that they're on facebook. but cute eh.

fyi to mamacits, they were ur cousins. lol.


have i mentioned im going to spore next week? woo-hoo. visiting my mama. surprisingly, im not excited psl the shopping. more psl its gonna be a new place for me. so nda jua luan monotonous my summer anie. anie hari2x gym lunch out ambil adik sekolah tdur ptg and repeat cycle again next day. other than the occasional bday bash sush dinner and the kursus civic.

so yayy. looking forward to spore. oh, and also the fact that its only 1hr 50mins away. sangal my bottom duduk dlm aeroplane for 7hrs straight bah. ie kalau ke hengland.

my shopping list only consists of perfumes and sports stuff plg. other stuff i can get in uk jua. but we'll see. psl this time mummy is around. shapa tau murah rezeki sayaaa *hint hint*

oh hari ini hari jadi bapak saya. saya doakan semoga murah rezeki dan tumpah2x tah segala rezeki yg murah atu kepada saya. hehe.

dan oso to everyone reading this post. mudahan abiskita d murahkan rezeki jua.

lubs lubs
be'ah xxxx

12th of the month

happy 31 months to my one and onleh mister rabzilulu :D

me mum's flown back to spore today. i never post pictures of my out and abouts (to put in nisya's word hehe) but this one is too good to not share here. its been AGES since a picture is taken where every single brother is present. its either one's behind the camera or not around at all.

(and studio pictures dont count)

so i present to you - mi familia.


picture courtesy of the boyfriend who just got back from jakarta.


and here's the final line-up.



yeaps, thats all the boys. its a wonder i turned out girly. hehe.

on the gym front. the mall's was closed becoz it was kiulap branch's 1st year ann. so i didnt go becoz apparently ada some karaoke stuff and sorts. in a gym i tell u. pfft. oh well. manage to find some workout routine sans gear/weights online so methinks i did orrite today. also guzzled two pots of yogurt to avoid eating more chocolate ganache.

no gym is making me resort to desperate measures; i.e *gasp* actually watching what i eat! never have i had to choose yogurt over chocolate. it was always my own selera to want to eat yogurt over chocolate, not because i feared the calories.

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! [because i dont knw what sound effect suffices here!]

will make up for this lack of chocolate tomoro at the gym. weights and all!

much love,
be'ah xxxxxxxxxxxx

its like a drug

i dont knw if i have mentioned this before or that its obvious to every else but me (until now that is.)

exercising is like a drug. its the endorphins i crave. because i now realise that when i dont go to the gym (on a morning when i'm supposed to, like today!) i get cranky and snap at everyone within a 10 metre radius(oh yes, im loud too).

i always cancel my morning sessions when i've had a late night out the night before because hey, we all need our beauty sleep kan? also i read that theres no point in exercising when ur body's tired. so i texted rose last night to cancel PT. plus, my chest and shoulder muscles were effin' killing me. toldja she made me worked like hell on friday. i was squealing at every last 5 reps on the 3rd set of weights. but the thing is, sunday isnt supposed to be my day off.. it shud be a monday. so i made a deal with myself: no gym, but jog in tasek instead. since my mum's back home, her and my dad have been jogging every other morning.

so that was the plan. instead of waking uber early for more muscle straining weights, i can have an extra 2hrs of snooze time and join my parents in tasek.

what really happened:

mum woke me up at quarter to 8 (okay, i knw maybe most of u may say this is still uber early, but i usually wake up at 5.30am. so there.) and told me to get ready. we were gonna drop of my brother for iqra' lessons and then zoom to tasek. sekalinyaaaa... my youngest brother threw up a fuss. said he doesnt want my mum to go jogging and he wants to spend time with my mum etc etc. pokoknya manja berabis lah ia. di bawa ke tasek, nda mau. so fine, my mum being the understanding and reliable mum she is, cancelled her jogging date with dad and stayed home. me? i decided to retreat back under the covers of my duvet.

its now 8.30 and my youngest brother is currently watching shaun the sheep on tv, oblivious to whether my mum is with him or not. i got out of bed proper 10mins ago because i finally decided i wanted to go to the gym and that i've had enough sleep (and that my arms weren't killing me like last night).

then i discovered the car is gone. my dad went out to send my brother for iqra lessons with the one and only car i can drive.

so here i am, sitting on my bed and venting out the frustration on this post before i snap at more people unnecessarily.

but seriously, I NEED TO WORK UP A SWEAT!!

especially after last night's dinner. the whole family plus boyfren went to emperor's court to celebrate dad's birthday. and we had cake. yummy cake. and we still have leftovers. i havent had breakfast yet. maybe i should have cake for breakfast. im sooo tempted!!

no i dont want cake. i mean i'm tempted by the idea of sitting down and stuffing my face with chocolate ganache cake for my first meal of the day. but i cant because its a one way ticket to a sugar binge. the thing is, when i exercise first thing in the morning, it sets up my meal pattern for the rest of the day. now my whole day will be zonked out. and today theres a wedding and a picnic to go to!


kan menangis ku eeeeh. mebbe imma steal my brother's weights and do some reps.

see wat no exercise does to me???