feelin' some luv =)

this is the first time i actually got a request for an update. i have never failed to update my blog so tecabar rasa ku hahaha so heres my rants and rave offs of the past few days.

warning: not for the un-mushy ppl. this post will be dedicated to the boyfren =))

but to start off lightly, last night i spent the whole night talking to a best fren (yes, i've more than one bestfren. bless!) and a very very very close friend who could've been a bestfren but for his continuous crushes on me. anyway, i just realised how much i really really missed them both, effy and tashry. not that i didnt miss them since i left, but effy is like a big sister to me, we sleep over eachothers house, she cooks for me, colours my hair, dresses me up, put make-up on me, talk for endless hours into the night.. me and her, its like a cliche relationship of the bestest girlfrens u see in movies. tashry is the guy (other than my boyfren) who i can talk about anything and i knw i'll get an honest answer no matter what and would do anything for me (tho the last part is probably coz he has/had a crush on me haha). and his jokes crack me up, even the lame ones, tho i pretend not like them haha.

so what was so special about lastnite that i felt really loved? ntah ah.. but i just got that vibe where chatting on msn or skyping just isnt the same. doh rabz. everyone knows that. but ntah.. like i was chatting to effy lastnite and apparently she was talking to me in the middle of her shower! i was just like 'awwwww... she actually doesnt mind that her fone will get wet bcoz of me! and me and tashry talked on skype the whole night lastnight, about everything from his girl problems, how to attract girls, me starting to wear the hijab, badminton.. anything we cud think of! i spent most of my last few days in brunei with these two.. especially effy. i was her barbie doll and she was my personal advisor on everything. we had double dates together, watched world cup together, drove around brunei together.. well u name it, i've done it with effy (nothing dodgy yea =p)

and i dont knw where im going at with this but i just miss effy so much. i actually sent her some stuff thru the mail which cannot be revealed here hahaha. but dont worry, its legal.

next topic, my boyfriend! :D

i was going to add love of my life, something-something intan payung (i forgot the whole phrase) and all that jazz, but that'll be just rubbing it in. pokoknya i miss hiiiiimmm!!! i knw in this world we're sent to live to serve Allah but i can honestly say that i feel like i live and breathe for him (haha awu pip. kejiwa mati nie.) and i havent talked to him properly in the past few days so im feeling a bit empty now =s

it sucks. the whole long-distance thing. i have always always always been against long distance relationship and believed it wouldnt work (yes ppl, another cliche line coming)..

until i met him.

its still too early to say. we've only been together for a year but we've been thru shitloads together and i just feel safe and loved and blessed to have him. i know God has better plans for us, but im really hoping and praying he's the one. i know some ppl would say one year is nothing, its still not shitloads of obstacles but take my word for it, we have.

there was this one incident that happened, and most guys would probably freak out, take the easy way out, love me less or watever, but he stayed with me thru the whole ordeal. i can honestly say he is my knight in shining armour (or in his case, in sexy uniform. hehe pilot uniforms are HOT kali ah!) and i knwo im getting emo and not making sense and i probably jsut wasted ur 3mins for reading such nonsense and such unrealistic views or notions but i love him. he's nice, he's hot, he's dutiful to his parents, he understands me, he listens to me.. he's basically everything i ever dreamt of. and everytime i tink how lucky i am, i always think wat ever did i do to deserve him? i would honestly die if i lose him. na'uzubillah.

its funny how life works. i honestly admit if i had meet him earlier (actually i had, he's my fren's brother, but nvm that), i wouldnt have fallen for him.i would even have gone for him. i wouldnt even have considered him to be a potential boyfren. but we met and clicked and laughed and talked and flirted and somehow it happened. we happened. and i've been as happy as a girl could be in a relationship. like i mentioned b4, i never believed in long distance. i never even believed in long-term. i had commitment problems. rez would knw this. he'd say i was too choosy and too picky and yea, that i didnt wanna commit. i couldnt even have a relationship that lasted more than 6 mths.

but now, not only am i in a long term relationship, im also in a long-distance long term relationship. of course it was tough, a lot of tears and all, but as long as theres trust and faith and honeslty and loyalty and the love, it'll work.

god i miss him so much. and the time difference obviously does NOT help. by the time i wake him, he's prolly out at work and by the time he goes to bed, i have to be in classes. and he pampers me so well and i like that. he knows im a bit demanding and maybe a lil' bit high maintenance for him but hes okay with that and i try to change for the better. he makes me change for the better. of course we're not perfect, thres stuff that we both dont like abt each other but we talk it thru instead of lashing out on each other. but thats the ups and downs that every couple face. and u just work with it. bcoz u love each other.

i guess thats really what i've been trying to say all this time throughout this post.

i love him. and i mean it.