aku emo

i dont knw how many of u guys actually read my long-ass supposedly tear-jerking post titled 'just a heartbeat apart' but for those who do, i apologise and thank u for putting up with my emo self. no, its not the look-at-me-i-wanna-slit-my-wrists type of emo but its the dont-look-at-me-i've-got-bloodshot-eyes-from-crying-all-nite emo. i find it really annoying how i can cry at the merest mention of being away from him, not seeing him but how i can still stay stony-faced and actually feel, get this, annoyed at silly sappy movies like, dare i say it.. the notebook.

there. i've confessed. sorry to all u notebook fans but i seriously find that movie annoying rather than heart-wretching. ditto to a walk to remember. the latter didnt even make sense to me. how can u fall in love with a polar opposite of urself in mere days? okay, i fail to mention that its an adaptation of a book and naturally bits and pieces were cut out to accommodate the movie to a decent time frame. but still, the movie annoys me.

so to what movies do i cry to? hmm.. i'm weird in this sense coz sometimes i cry to the most typical love scenes but laugh out loud in other typical love scenes; then theres the fact that i cry at movies that ur not supposed to (or typically) cry to, like how i cried in ice age 1 when the baby gets back safely to the dad and had to part with the sabre-tooth tiger, mammoth and that annoying lil' sloth looaklike. mind u, i cried in pasrah (cringe moment. i never wanted to admit that but here i am) and titanic and also armageddon and moulin rouge and i also cried bucket loads in my bestfriend's wedding.

anyhoo, other than justifying how weird i am for telling the whole world wide web to which movies i cry, i reli dont knw how i got thre. oh yes, i was talking about how emo i can get. i just spent the last couple of hours crying my eyes out bcoz the sayang (thats bee's nickname for him which i've decided to use) was suppose to leave for UK an hour ago. well, his flight got delayed by 6hrs. so thres a few more precious hours where i can squeeze skype time with him before he flies off. he'll be gone for abt a week and i dont knw what else, besides going to the gym and working out myself silly, to do during his absence.

i tink i just answered my unspoken question. of course i'm gonna workout, get to that ideal weight i wanted so by the time he comes back he'll find a sexier, more gorgeous me. that'll keep him from straying. not that he ever had a tendency nor even the usual male instinct to stray. but u know.

i'm babbling. i'm gonna miss him so much. dear friends, please take me out and save me from working myself out to skin and bones.

hah. like that'll happen.

i wanna get married.

did i scare u? sorry. yes, im babbling. i miss u.