one week in

of my being an official adult.

actually, i dont know why i keep saying that. after all, ur only as young (or as old) as how u feel. i still feel the same.. but i guess the idea that i am now financially independent makes me feel more adult-y than when i turned 16, 18 or 21. heck, thinking back, 16 is still kanak-kanak. like, anching masih. hahaha

i'm sure ten or maybe even 5 yrs down the line and i'm gonna say the same thing abt being 23 (which i will be in 5 days!). funny how turning 23 isnt bothering me much. i hated turning 20 because i officially lost my 'teen' status. turning 21 was okay because it meant i was legally an adult worldwide (tho how that makes a difference; i dont knw. its not like i go clubbing anyway) and 22 was bearable, as long as nobody shouted happy 22nd birthday as opposed to simply happy birthday. but now the idea of being 23 is just that. i turn 23. full stop. its just an age.

yes, i've becomed those ppl who say age is just a number. i use to think these ppl were in denial of their age. but now i'm one of them.. i'd say, no. it reli is just a number.

moving on.. here i am blathering about age when what i reli wanted to talk about is my job.

i wouldnt say i have a career per se. a career, as how i see it, is a job that fullfills u and become part of who u are. how i see it is that i have a job that pays well; a job which i have enjoyed so far. i love the working environment, i love the people i work with and i find the job interesting and very informative. i've learnt so much in my 1 week at work than my one term at university! but i guess its because at work, i apply the knowledge rather than just regurgitate it on paper.

i know it might be too soon to tell whether i really do love my job, but i can say for sure that i like it. the first couple of days were overwhelming, but this was wholly due to the other legal counsel being on leave. the day she came back, everything was just clear to me. she explained how much i needed to know and stuff that i wasn't expected to know and basically put me at ease. she knew that it was my first job - first job experience ever- and she was okay with that as long as i was willing to learn. i have to say, after 5 consecutive months of doing whatever i wanted, plus another 2 months between final exams and graduation, i was thirsty for knowledge! i feared my brain would fry up or shrink because of the lack of use; not to mention all i did was focus on my physical ie the gym gym gym gym ALL. THE. TIME.

okay i'm not annoyed at myself for being such a shallow person. i still want to go to the gym but i just dont have the freedom to exercise as often as i want. i do go fridays and sundays and i'm hoping to squeeze in another session on tuesday or weds night so that i get at least 3 sessions per week. for now, its just the 2, squeezed at the end of the week. the least i can do is do my sit ups in the morning before brekfast and make sure i eat at 2 hr intervals to keep my metabolism up. the latter not being much of a problem with the amount of food available at the office =D

anyway, before i end this post i would love to wish my dear brother a happy 17th birthday.

also, to my dearly beloved (eseh), a happy 4th anniversary. its amazing how u still make me angau after 4 yrs.

i'll leave it at that =p

much love,
rabi'a
[who will possibly get married in 2011, insyaAllah jika umur panjang dan disampaikan jodoh ;)]

hello 2010!

i am psyched about 2010. loads to look forward to and many improvements and resolutions to put into place. started the new year with a super amazing getaway at empire with fadz and my family. metinks its a good start for 2010 =)

this is gonna be a proper new year post, so its gonna be quite a long one. i'm gonna be starting work (very very) soon so there will obviously be a sharp decline in posts here. fear not 'cause facebook is around =p anyway, because of that, i plan to leave my dear readers with enough to last them till the next post.

2009 was a great year for me. i've discovered my love for pumping weights (there i go again with exercise) and graduated from university. i re-kindled old friendships and made new ones. i had a major fight with the boyfriend but in the end made us stronger as a couple. i came and saw Paris, Brussels and Amsterdam. i've reached my one year mark of weight-loss (cause thats when ppl usually relapse). i received a job offer which i am ecstatic about. i've finally met my boyfriend's family and (i believe) they like me. i learnt that i love baking for people. i had a fantastic 22nd birthday thanx to imah and huda and even hazim and padil. i had a super awesome snow fight with my kent gang and i really cherish all the memories of hanging out in the living room, of camping, of partying, of sing-star-ing and even the everyday cooking together rituals i do with my housemates.

i can go on and on about the good stuff. there were down times too. the day i had to cancel my new york trip because of H1N1. those final days before my final year exams.. when all i wanted to do was cry and give up. for that i thank my boyfriend for being there for me and telling me i can get through my degree.. which i did. those days when the major fight i had with said boyfren were the worst. for helping me thru that, to nav and illah i heart u both so so much!

hmm.. okay this is getting to be a thank you post. so while i'm at it, thank you buyai and fadz for my awesome new year's eve.

of best and worsts.. theres stuff that are on a category of its own. like eating chicken liver mousse (never again!), staying up at cits and helping out with a huge wedding order. talking in my half-asleep stupor. eating korean food and barbeque-ing my first chicken. strawberry picking. discovering i love bodycombat and that i hate running (outside or treadmill; same thing). kayakking with fadz and beating james the trainer in the kayak race. having to write in 'unemployed' when filling out forms (not anymore nyahaha). driving myself broke by shopping non-stop at shopaholics mj. discovering that green looks good on me (random eh haha).

are u bored yet? i'm writing all this so i wont forget how amazing 2009 was to me. i emerged out of it with a law degree, more friends and a weird-looking tan. good times!

here's to hoping 2010 is just as kind, if not better.

happy new year, everyone!

much love,
rabi'a
(yes i changed my name hee. pasal rabz is kinda wearing me out. and i'm getting OLD. krg sampai jadi nini rabz lol)

p/s 2 weeks and counting till i turn 23!

how was your week?

syaima and daus' wedding was fab. i loved syai's dresses.

caught avatar courtesy of rezzykins. thank u for the belanja. will be watching the movie again tomorrow with my aunt. yes its THAT good.





and i got the job offer. the job i wanted.

*shriek*



alhamdulillah. its cause y'all were praying for me tu. hehe

wont be starting until after my medical fitness result. but after that its all systems go cause they want us (the new recruits) to start asap. so did the med check and this time got my blood taken by a nice lady who did it in one go. last time i did it (for the scholarship thing), this dude had to take more from my other arm and it was painful.

the spot is still bruised tho. i dont knw if thats normal or cause i aggravated it some more from bodypump ystrdy. aaah.. the gym. i'm gonna miss it when i start work. hee.


will talk more in the next post.

much love,
be'ah xoxo

spongebob squarepants

since my last blog post, i'm happy to say i've ventured slightly outside my sheltered world of the gym. i've taken to going to tasek some days and tried out one of the jungle routes. gotta say, the fresh air was *ahem* refreshing. hee.

the sun was beating down quite strong tho. but the air was good so it was a very nice change from the air-conditioned air inside four mirrored walls. anypants, this post will be a recap of wat i've neglected to write so theres a high possibility i go off on a random tangent.

i've caught new moon, finally! after 2 weeks of its release in UK, a week after its premier in brunei and 2 days after its official show in brunei. talk abt hard to get tickets. but then again theres not reli much to look forward to in brunei so i guess a movie that big is bound to be sold out for the first couple of days.

also, in an effort to reclaim my social life outside the gym, i attended my first BDAC penyinar meeting in.. 3 yrs? good to see the old faces tho the new faces are lookin' quite young, again reminding me of the fact that i am now a fully fledged adult who needs to go out and get a job!

speaking of which, i've had my first official job interview~ okay i did a quickie one back in september but that didnt reli count coz i didnt apply for the job. i am reli reli hoping i get this job so if its my rezeki, i shall belanja everyone in the family (and some selected frens hee)! note tho, that I will get to say what constitutes as a fair belanja. so no ridiculous requests such as a lamborgini or even tickets to spore. okay the latter may be reasonable for my parents but anyhoo, will do a big announcement hoo-ha when i get my first paycheck. woot woot!

moving on, i've been back to hanging out at cits. so of course i've been stuffing my face with cupcakes. and churros. she has decided to sell churros so whenever its available i grab a piece and stuff it in my mouth. its deep fried carbs. coated with cinnamon and sugar and doused with a hefty dose of chocolate/caramel sauce. i helped her out selling cupcakes at a barracudas game (man the energy was so alive! i forgot how exhilirating a live game can be!) and kept starring at the churros for sale that i cudnt touch. but she overestimated baking so i was allowed to eat cupcakes.. so i was essentially stuffing myself between sales. also, i've discovered the most dee-lish-shes burger in brunei ever! home made patty at its finest! thick lgi tu! i tink its from santai? needless to say i ate my heart out that nite at the game.

so....

yes i've gained back the weight i so painstakingly tried losing after raya. but i am as hell confused because my bajus keep needing to be altered smaller. maybe its the cutting of the baju. today i went for a baju fitting at maggie's for a baju that i wanted to wear for a fren's wedding (and december is wedding session anyway) and she had to tuck in a couple of inches here and there. maybe she purposely cuts the baju loose in case i gain weight.. or to make me feel kurus-er so when fitting comes she can keep putting pins in as if i lost more weight.

that said, i tink i may have gained because my tummy muscles are stronger. i can actually endure a whole session of abs blitz now. waheyy~ up till the end of last month, i'll been stopping now and then when the trainer wasnt looking. but i do wonder where this 2kg weight is going! inda jua kan semua ke muscle kali?? talk abt a yo-yo weight!

regardless, cause my bf still loves me for who i am. hehe. today's our 3yrs 11mths anniversary. how time flies. tick tock tick tock and we'll be up there on a wedding dais (ameen ja. ameen!!). hehe apakan. till next time. pray that i get the job pls!

much much love,
be'ah xoxo

superstar

i've been to enough bodypump classes to vaguely know which song goes for which muscle move, the rythm counts and what a deadrow, triple counts, wide grip etc mean. i pride myself on the fact that i can follow the class move for move because its routine is locked somewhere in my brain, so even when i dont knw wat i'm doing, the song beats tells me when to go fast or slow.

but of course, just because i know the moves doesnt mean i'm able to do all of them back to back. i find i'm usually screaming (internally) during the lower half lunges, not going as low as i should during push-ups, cheating counts on tricep moves and lasting half the time during planks.

today was slightly a different story because i was forced into the limelight. specifically, i had to do the class on stage with lyza (the trainer) because there wasnt enough floor space for the sudden increase of members doing bodypump. i'd love to say i was chosen to be on stage because i was the handal-est.. but i was chosen because i was one of the youngest around and the aunties made me go up. oh, and also because i'm friends with lyza so i assume she feels more comfortable having a friend on stage than some nameless albeit familiar face.

my friends know i have no problem being in the limelight. i fact, i would usually bask in the glory unashamedly. but my point of contention on being pushed on stage, however, is not that i felt uncomfortable have 20 or so pairs of eyes on me while i was sweating bullets. i wasnt even awkward being next to lyza who kept screaming counts and moves every other interval. no, what i didnt like abt being on stage was the lack of a mirror.

the mirror tells me if i'm in right position; if my knees arent going the wrong way while doing squats. it tells me if my legs are 90degrees angle during lunges and that my elbows are tucked in during bicep curls. lyza checks on us from time to time throughout the class, but i depend on the mirror because its there the whole time and not flitting off to another person.

up on stage, not only do i have to do these moves blindly, but i have ppl looking at me to check if their positions are correct. it doesnt help that whenever lyza gets off stage to check on ppl, she screams 'okay look to rabz' and silently mouths to me the next move when she's at the back of the room and cant come back on time to show people.

theres a mirror situated diagonally behind me which i can use to check my positions, but i am self conscious about pushing my bum out in front of ppl during squats at such an elevated height. so i take my position besides lyza, look to the back of the class where the back wall is a mirror, although all i can see is the top of my head and dozens of expectant faces looking at me.

complaints aside, it was a good experience. it made me rethink abt my not-so-deeply buried wish about being a gym trainer (haha) unless its just for friends, like what i did in uk with vivi and ijat. i had to supress my need to cheat on counts and surprised myself at staying for as long as needed during a plank pose. i guess a little push was all i needed.

that said, i wouldn't want to be on stage again, unless the gym puts up a mirror to my side =p

much love,
be'ah xoxo

sweat and shoes

i do have a social life outside the gym, thanx to fadz and syura bura!

actually, i've been out a few times with girlfrens but i never reli bother making a post on it because, honestly, who wants to hear about how i met so and so and talked about so and so over coffee and cake?

(albeit the same case when i talk about the gym. regardless, my blog thus my veto on content =p)

this post is special because it was specifically requested by a friend. she really did say 'rabz will u write this on ur blog so i'm in it and i can comment?'

so to Dk Elina Fadzillah, this is dedicated to u =)

but first things first, the gym front! (i couldnt resist bah)

i took a day off from the gym ystrdy. only then did i realise i went the whole way last week and that i went to the gym every. single. day. of. last week.

also went a couple of times in the evening.

now how sad is that? ystrdy's day off was actually un-intentional, i overslept hehe. but i went out last night with cits, iman, aisha, aufa and rirah for iman's bday eve so i needed the extra zees anyway.

so there is social life part 1. i actually went out on a friday nite! and chilled and hungout and ogled and stared at other ppl and did what 15 yr olds do nowadays. that is, of course, pathetic in one way, but at least i was out of the house with frens and drinking and EATING after 8pm.

this morning i had circuit training and pilates. i always look forward to saturdays because of the morning classes. i was quite proud of myself today because i didnt cheat one bit. in fact, went on the treadmill for a bit before class. james, who always complains that i dont sweat enough, pointed out today that i was red. i can feel the sweat rolling off me. i cant go into this without being disgusting but that was the first time that i remember literally being drenched in sweat. well there u go mister james, i can sweat.

i invited syura to join today's class since i still had a couple of the free passes ela gave me to give away to friends. fadz had a facial appointment (which she didnt confirm.. so she didnt reli have a facial. but the point is she was out of bed and dressed) in gdg so we all met up after our respective activities and had brunch at dynasty. may i also add that the brunch was courtesy of fadz who lanja-ed us. i was craving for some french toast from fleur de lys, but syura wanted to go someplace near because she had to go met her mum and fadz wanted dimsum. she won us over when she said 'kalau dimsum aku lanja'.

after much catching up and *ahem* essential gossip and bye-byes to syura who had to meet her mum, fadz and i went to charles and keith because i've been lusting over these pair of electric blue heels and i wanted her opinion on them. we ended up spending almost an hour there trying on shoes and in the end we both got a pair of heels each. atupun because we couldnt afford 2 pairs each. funny really, because i also wanted the heels she got and i told her if she didnt get them, i'd buy them. she wasn't planning on getting shoes that day but because i said that she convinced herself she needed the shoes that day.

she admitted plg that she didnt want me to get the same pair so she had to get them then and there.

i retorted that i'm at the mall most mornings and can get the shoes anyday after. she responded with 'if u get these i'm gonna buy ur heels jua!'

that shut me up.

haha. girls and shoes. padahal banyak lgi org lain yg bali tu. haish.

so that was my saturday. the compulsory 2hr gym session, brunch with the girls and some shoe shopping. quite productive i would say =)

oh, also managed to squeeze in a little date before picking up a brother at 4. aaand did i mention i sent in a job application the day before? where for? adelerr. sikritt~

=p


much love,
be'ah xoxo

Crazy Cat Lady

i was talking to a very good and old (going way back, not age) friend, just catching up on wat we've been up to. the friend's in the army, currently in australia. the usual topics about jobs, marriage, other friends' jobs and marriage came up. being currently unemployed and keeping myself busy at the gym, all i could reli talk about myself was gym, gym, gym, gym, gym.

oh, and more gym stories.

skalinya mid-story, my friend cut through with " u know i dont reli find this interesting, right?"

(yes, proof of a good friendship is knowing when to say such stuff without being offensive. but still, i was slightly taken aback.)

so i replied "but it is to me! u knw i dont have a life outside the gym!"

to which he said "u knw if u keep this up ur gonna end up being crazy cat lady"

0.0

..........
..............
..................

he definitely rendered me speechless with that.

i saw his point tho.. so i guess imma make some time outside the gym. true tho, the only ppl i see on a regular basis, besides the one i live with, are gym trainers, fellow gym-enthusiasts and erm, gym receptionists.

in my defence, i dont have cats. and i do have a boyfriend. who's been very busy with work lately.

also, at least i'm not off gallivanting into the night painting the town red.

come to think of it, i'd rather take crazy cat lady than party girl. i am wayyy past that stage to be out and about everynight into the wee hours of morning.

i'll go feed my ten cats now.

much love,
be'ah xoxo