sweet tooth

i'm currently feeling upset and cranky and moody and broody (?!!) and confused. i feel like doing an intense workout, something to sweat out all these negative feelings. but i still have some sense in me not to go jogging at noon in brunei where the sun is at its deadliest.

so second best thing would be to burn some cash, but i wont because that goes against my resolution and also because i dont have enough money for a spree. plus im saving for something that i've been waiting for all my life.

so then i thought maybe i should indulge in a candy binge. chocolate gives u endorphins like exercise does, rite? except its got the opposite effect on ur weight. but i cant find any candy around the house. actually, i can, but they're not the ones that i had in mind. why am i being so choosy and difficult?

i can blame it on the hormones, but i doubt its them. i blame pretty much everything i do on hormones anyway. i'm being very contradictory, aren't i? i want to exercise and yet go on a candy binge. i want some space and yet i need a friend badly. i want to be left alone and yet i want a hug.

i should stop with all the wants. i should stop focusing on the negative and look on the positive. my icing. on my fairycake.

how i've managed to lose weight despite eating out a lot.

how i've gottern closer to one particular brother who i was never really close with.

how my mum is beginning to be more accepting of me and my boyfren, and such close frens we have become.

how i've got a boyfren who tolerates my mood swings.

how i've got girlfrens for every up and down.

how i've gone thru my first term of second year well.

icing. i want to jog. i'm bored. please get me the shoes from charles and keith.

i hate not being in control of what i feel. i hate feeling vulnerable. and i hate that i love u so much.