Kurus

ystrdy stood out as the day i am officially kurus.

yea i knw i've lost weight apa, but i've always thought myself as slim, not kurus. kurus may be the same thing plg. lol. but when i hear it i think skinny, not slim. and maybe it was the way the two ppl exclaimed 'kurus jua kau!' at the first sight of me.

first was zimbo, who came by the house to give me her wedding invitation.

her kurus exclaims where punctuated by slaps on my arm and asking 'what did u dooooo?'

we go to high school together waay baack since 1999 but only really got close in form 4. gee, i guess i was really berisi back then. or maybe zimbo's just stressed out about her wedding.

second to loudly exclaim how much weight i've lost was my nini idah, mamacits' mum. i came by their house to get the cake i ordered for the beau. and she was all 'behapa kau kurus-kurus anie?'

this is the woman who saw me grow up from an itty bitty (chubby) baby to a bulat toddler to a fat kid to a braces-wearing teen and now, a 'kurus' twenty-something.

i still need to get the word round my head tho. the fact that they're using kurus instead of 'makin damit jua kau' and the likes. growing up i dont remember ever being at my current weight ever. even when i was 14 i wasnt at this current weight.

but me likey the compliments of course. hehe. shows that the hard work pays off. now when ppl ask me what i do i dont just say 'gym and special k', i now say

'its all hard work. but if u want something and u work for it, it'll happen'. i mean, i know i've always burbled on abt how happy the gym makes me feel and how ecstatic i am when i see the scales go down and how yummy special k is, so imma tell u the flip side of the story.

i do wake up in the morning (with aching muscles) and wanting to go back to sleep or not go to the gym. i do set up super ambitious goals which i usually give up on before long (as the half marathon and biking thing) and i do eat more than the one-portion-per-meal i advocate when the makanan is super yummy (the usual deal-breakers are sushi and kway teow). i do wish that my metabolic rate is super fast so i wudnt have to do weights because i tend to want to give up after the second set of 15 reps.

i do wish that rose would sometimes go slower when she's doing steps and william to count faster when he asks us to hold a pose. and i ALWAYS look at the clock during classes because im hoping its going to finish soon!

but i put my chin up, tailbone in (haha. ppl in william's class will understand) and stayed through it all. i finish my last few weight reps albeit slowly. i go just as fast as rose in steps and i dont let go of a pose till william says 'release'.

because i know its all worth the work.

altho i do sometimes cheat ;) during steps i sometimes stop and just march on the spot till i get my breath back, i release my plank whenever william walks to the back of the class and resume the pose straigtaway when he's looking to the front and i just give up altogether on a last set of reps when i feel i cant do it.

u just gotta know when its okay to cheat. because at times, it is. just dont beat urself up when u cant do what u did last week. acknowledge what u didnt do, move on and start again. like the quote above, weight management is a life-long thing, so theres no full-stop if u wanna keep (or lose) your current weight.

(okay.. i think i've been reading too much of women's health.)

the icing on the (fairy) cake was ystrdy afternoon after i got back from mamacits. i was fooling around with my brothers, taking turns on the bar thing where we do chin ups/pull-ups when one brother lifted me up and threatened to carry me into the toilet to flush me. above my screams for mercy (because we were already in the toilet) and my other brothers' amused and terhibur laughter, i heard my brother (the one who was carrying me) say, 'eh ringan jua kaka anie!'

wooo hoo! typing it down here is like the whipped creamed and the cherry on top. these brothers have forever been calling me fat even at my lowest weigh in, comparing me to their girl friends and girlfrens (who are always always skinny in the real meaning of the word skinny). but now they're actually admitting that i am kurus!!!

now i want a chocolate cake with whipped cream. oooh i want another slice of citscakes! i always let myself indulge in a guilty pleasures after ego-boosters. haha like i said, its okay to cheat sometimes.

much love,
be'ah xxxxxx