it doesnt end till the fat lady sings

its been exactly one week since my last post. many2x things have happened and i've managed to get done over reading week. so good accomplisment. altho im nowhere near finishing my property special studies plan. but im thinking im halfway thru. buleh they call it 'special' studies? like that makes it all the better. makes me feel more like a retard actually lol. but then i guess i can be one when i havent done any work for a while. but im back in the game, baby! hehe i'll get to the crunch of it tomoro. krg we have the dance thingy at the venue. whooa im all powered up for that! dtglah beramai2x to watch. please =)

anyhoo, lastnite we had an interesting conversation and the highlight of it was a very memorable quote yg saya tepakai very much. coming from the ever-creative anisah

"amish dont have guns and turkeys!"

of course when i put it like that, it makes no sense watsoever and its probably not even funny. but aku tepakai. and thats what matters. haha but yea, fyi, its the pilgrims that have guns and turkeys.... rite? we're thinking american colonial pilgrims here. bukan ppl yg naik haji.

thanx lydz for dropping by. im all better now. feeling 100% better, altho masih batuk2x. but then the batuk will die down sooner or later. and i've got ur dates of coming to canters sudah. haha finally my mee jawa will become a reality!! mwahahaha (evil laugh) but um.... will tell kash abt the confirmed date. i rindu very much eating asian food. ystry i made a pasta dish with the mushroom tortellini and i kinda overboiled the pasta and they tasted like kway teow. if i had known, ku goreng pasta atu. lol but now i know. so maybe next time.

i finally managed to go out jogging with jirin. after planning since last yr! haha typical us. but then since i have reading week and jirin has his colouring week, we made a pact that if the weather's 5degrees above, we'd jog. it was a nice 8 to 9 degress on thursday and we jogged to sainsburys. got food from there too. nyanyat ku kan ke sainsburys. the food is much better. or maybe psl its not like tesco or m&s and im in need of something new? watever it is, i wanna go there again, didnt realise it was so near. kinda like walking to tesco in town if u go the back route. so not badd.. plus more walking equals more exercise equals hopefully more weight loss hehehe. altho my mum pesan sudah jgn luan labih 'krg ilang' to put in her words. but i dont think so. i love food too much. haha its more like, i want a leaner body. which obviously entails me to lose a bit more weight.

speaking of which, i miss doing weights. so far i've been exercising alright hre. had football again on weds and of course, the jogging. and i do a bit of yoga now and then. but its the weightlifting that boosts my metabolic rate and im kinda craving to angkat some stuff. haha plus it tones my arms, which is great for puffy arms like mine huhu. but on the other hand, i cant be bothered to buy weights or join the gym. i tink its more of the commitment issue. psl here i knw my priority is to blajar my brains out. so come summer when im all free, insyaAllah its back to the gym. need to save up money to join tho. haha.


altho i will be going to spore some time during the summer. aah~ nice to knw i've got plans for summer. and maybe a work attachment. but im still deciding which ministry to do it. i keep forgetting to ask my mum. okay bu, if ur reading this, remind me when we next skype =)

speaking of singapore, guess who else is there right now, other than mum? no, not rano. altho yes he is thre. huhu the special half is there. doing some sim. wishing u the best of luck. and i miss u terribly. hope everything goes well there. and u need to buy me back on facebook owned! haha pasal ka amal bought me. and i just bought u from her. so ur harga naik sudah. its kinda satisfying playing with thousands of dollars even tho its fake. hehe. i discovered i aint that bad of an investor. hehe hopefully that luck transfers to real life. amiin.

last but not least, wishing all bruneians selamat hari kebangsaan. be good and take care.

much love
be'ah xxx

p/s final 20 on american idol sudah! aaah im so in love with the australian. forgot his name. michael johns. and david archuleta (sp?) is so bashful huhu. and ramiele malubay lawa. good line-up this year =D and danny noriego reminds me of someone and im still digging out my brains trynna figure out who. oh, and i knw hes kinda, okay no, he is annoying. but i like him. haha 'coz some ppl weren't likin' it' *wink*

i found it!

i feel in love with this song the moment i heard it but its one of those things u cant reli find out easily. its the song from the macbook air commercial.



its by paris-born israeli raised Yael Naim. soothing voice. altho the video is a bit too shakey for me. im still damam so things like that are extra sensitive to me. thank god for reading week. at least i wont have much work to catch up on from being sick.

adib and gang came over today and he make nasi katok. yummy! but probably not the best thing for me to eat in my condition. lol i thought i was all better ystrdy but i went ut for CNY society celebration so i guess i shudnt have. lastnite my temperature went sky high and cudnt sleep a wink :s but after a restless morning sleep my temperature went down so okay la.

wishing i'd have gone to londres now. too late for that. maybe when i get better. times like this, i wish i was back home. kana manjakan jua. hehe but this is one of those dugaan that u have to face when living away from family. the housemates have been great tho, so i shudnt be complaining. im just not used to this whole staying indoors thing. i mean, yes i do stay indoors, but then i'd be out now and then or up in london. so i guess its a sign for me to reli get down and dirty with my work.

a special shoutout to my babu, who recently started (again!) to read my blog. she use to read it last year but somehow my being home didnt make reading the blog as necessary. now shes in spore, hopefully im back to being your regular read. i love u.

much love,
be'ah xxx

recuperating

i tink i've pushed myself a bit too much this week. unfortunately i havent reli done as much work as i've set out to do, but i did more than i did the week before, so i guess thats something.

wednesday was the breaking tho. i had football ie sore muscles (i reli need to do proper warm up and cool down stretches!), then dance practise ie sore wrists. back home i volunteered to cook, then only after dinner did i have time to shower and then do work. needless to say, i slept late and i had a niner the next day. i woke up feeling very sore and groggy with an extreeme headache but i had no choice but to go to class because

a) i didnt come to last week's thursday classes because of a minor setback
b) i've done the work for my seminars so it would be a waste of energy if i didnt go

by midday on thursday i had a high temperature, felt excruciating pain everywhere, throbbing headache, scratchy throat. u name it. and the weather was beyond cold and freezing. plus, i was fasting, so tepaksa tunggu sungkai to mkn ubat. i knw plg buleh buka puasa with a condition like that, but it was so close to sungkai so yea.

a mug of lemsip, a tab of redoxon and a day later (ie today), im feeling much much better. still have the coughing fits tho, and feeling a bit feverish, but at least next week is reading week, so definitely gonna get plenty of rest time. the downside of it is that my plans for a london getaway had to be cancelled. i knw once i get there i'd be pampered and mothered to the extreme by the ppl i stay with if i show up damam, but its the travel bit that i cant handle. even today's class i went up eliot footpath feeling faint. okay maybe im exaggerating and maybe i cudve skived off class, considering the circumstances, but its so close to reading week and today's seminar was an introduction for a major essay we needed to write, so i braved the freezing weather (i think it was only freezing for me bcoz i was feeling feverish) and went against my lazy bones anyway.

anyhoo, right now im trying my best to finish a mug of lemsip and it hasnt sunk in that its reading week. i've got soo much to do for that property special study thing. and its due in 2 weeks. so i guess its for the best that i cant go to london. tomoro is society's CNY celebration. hopefully i'll be up for that. but then again, its free food, so i guess i'll be there.

speaking of reading week, i cant wait for easter. cant believe 2nd year is almost over. after easter its exams (yikes!) and then baliiik kampooong~~

hehe. going to berlin for easter. anyone interested in joining? its from the 13th to 18th of april. coz so far theres only 2 of us, me and my cousin, so demi memeriahkan suasana belayar, we want more ppl. hit me back if anyone's interested and will fill u in on the details.

much love,
be'ah xxx

you're everything good in my life

You must have been sent from heaven to earth to change me
You're like an angel
The thing that I feel is stronger than love believe me
You're something special
I only hope that I'll one day deserve what you've given me
But all I can do is try
Every day of my life

the song is definitely going on my wedding playlist. hee. maybe azam/sanny can do this. awu, im in cloud 9 atm. but the song menusuk kalbu. haha eseeehmen.

i miss shopping. huhu. so i cleaned the kitchen and living room ystrdy. no dust bunny was safe. haha. and we just found out that the lil window thing above our kitchen door is closed alredi.. with glass. i tried vacumming that part ystrdy and i hit solid. thank god it didnt break. we didnt even knw when that was done. so now we know 0_o

wishing everyone as good of a mood as i'm in.

much love,
be'ah xxx

i am on fy-yah!

haha okay aku hyper. total change from the last post. sorry if that scared u. pokoknya everything is fine now and the wrinkles have been smoothed out. yes, i am a very silly silly girl and i keep trying to not do it but ntah.. its me. so i wont do any more promises but i will try to do my best to not do shit like that again. the highlight of it all? the magic words were spoken!

"u make me happy. feels right when im with u"

heart melt alert! haha. okay maybe i sound spoiled but i was feeling very vulnerable. young love! sigh.

i still promise on this tho, to talk whenever i have any doubt. thank u for still being here. ur the best, ever.

after the fiasco thing, i was reli buruk, had the whole big swollen eyes effect, unkempt hair (sudah tah rambut ikal, kusut lgi!) and blotchy skin. so to clean myself up, i did the only therapeutic thing i knw how to do that doesnt cost money.

i cleaned.

i cleaned my room from top to toe. vacuum the shit out of it, rearranged my stuff, wiped every surface with dettol, changes my sheets -everything. now my room's much brighter =D i also cleaned the toilet. i've been meaning to clean it since last week but i havent been pumped up for it. skali sudah c jem beckp 'we need to clean the house', i was like 'damn it i need to do the toilet!'. haha pasal its no fun when u do chores yang kana suruh. its much fun when u do it on ur own will. so yeah. or maybe thtas just me. but thanx jem coz u gave me the push i needed to clean the house. i also vacuumed the upstairs hallway and the stairs. i didnt do the stairs properly tho, psl 3 days ago i fell 5 steps down and it hurt like hell. i skinned a finger and my left hip is still sore. so theres no way i wanna fall down again with heavy henry (thats the vacuum cleaner, not some lover) on top of me.

despite the sore hip and bloody finger, i managed to play football tho. mind u, i was still in the middle of the previous post (see below) crisis so it didnt reli matter. kicking the ball around to release stress felt good. i pulled a muscle tho so i cudnt reli run properly. c wani tu punya psl, suruh tandang dari jauh. =p but even better, i had a one hour interim between football and dance practise, so we went over to wani's and her drums are ah-may-zing! and lurus jua i was stressed like hell, so banging on those drums were a huge stress buster. and i dont knw if its just me, but i believed i played some pretty good tunes. haha. altho in the middle of it reza insisted i wear the headphones rather than pakai amplifier. pfft.

and i still havent got the hang of ulek mayang in the last part of the dance. next wedsnesday we're suppose to show it to the organisers so i tink im just gonna wing it. psl thats the day of the next practise too. haha. oh well. i have a clean room now. and i need to do yoga bcoz all the football has taken over my yoga-ness. need to claim it back. huhu. lame eh.

pisluv (peace love)

be'ah xxx

the silly hoopla

theres one line in harry potter, one of the books, i dont remember which, that i reli like. i dont remember its exact words tho. but it goes sumthing like

misunderstanding breeds mistrust, which in turns breeds contempt..'

u get the drift?

it all starts from being silly, from being misunderstood, from reading too much into things that u start making up stuff and jumping to conclusions. and then u start distrusting. for a girl like me, it doesnt take too long. the whole process just fast-forwards itself.

but i also calm down fast. im stubborn, yes -but i have a guilty conscience that makes me slow down and think abt wat ive said, wat ive done, and the conclusion is usually very much against me.

now i tink i've damaged it too much to fix it. and the sad thing is, theres no way out. all i can do is wait.

i am so so sorry. for being selfish. for being ungrateful. for being someone so undeserving of u.

i hope u find it in your heart to forgive me. because if i were u, it would take everything in my power to even try.

*LSKOL*

on a roll

wednesday, i had my first dose of football. actually, it wasnt exactly my first. growing up with 6 brothers, its impossible for a sister to NOT have any kicking-the-ball-around experience - but hey, i was 9 when i last played ball. so to rephrase, wednesday was the first time i ever played football since i was 9. surprisingly, i had loads of fun and i didnt scream/screech/shriek as much as i thought i would. so i guess this i-dont-sweat girl has really reformed. to top that off, i scored 3 goals, albeit with the strategic kicks and positions of the guys lol. so score one for me! =D

i never dreamed i would play ball. even when i started this whole exercising health nut thing, i vowed to never ever do anything with balls. i had this fear of them that they always always would target my face or head. kalau kana tangan sudah sakit (which the ball did hit me on the arm on weds, but i didnt even scream!), apatah lgi muka. so when the guys said there was a game for both boys and girls, and that loads of girls were playing, i thought, why not? at least i can get my jogging done by running around the pitch or something. that was the plan, anyway. but i actually did play proper football. altho the game was kampung style, as atiq said. coz we didnt keep scores and all that. just played for the sake of playing. it was extremely nice of the guys to include the girls. thank u very very much! now that i've done football.. i wonder wat else i can do..

after football, we had our first ever practise of ulek mayang for the society. its for some international thingy i tink. the practice went great. altho we did go straight after football, so with sore legs, coming into dance practice, where we then got sore wrists from doing too many a times ayu hand movements. the song's reli slow, not like the zapin we did last year. this time, we cant smile like baboons (not that we ever did, mind u) bcoz we're supposed to look ethereal and other-worldy and serene and gorgeous all at the same time, and the walking and the poses and the timing for one move to another is soooo painstakingly slow.

and it didnt help when u have funny ppl to dance with. like wat happened when we had another practise ystrdy. laughter just kills the whole routine haha. but it makes for fun practise sessions. but i'm still confused about the end part and we dont knw wat our costumes will be like, yet. definitely gorgeous tho. haha psl the dancers are the 7 princesses from the sea. aisehmen. aku mau jadi ariel from little mermaid. haha. the real thing will be on the weekend b4 my reading week, so its perfect. something to look forward to b4 reading week comes around. altho i planned to go to belfast that weekend. now it has to be postponed yet again. i thot abt going in the middle of reading week, but then my frens will have classes and work to do and menyusahkan jua tu kalau i come over and they have to layan me. then if i go during the weekend of reading week, bagi ngalih bcoz ive got classes right after. so yea. i dont wanna go thru that whole rush. thats why i dont like going to london just for weekends. apa2x anie mesti relax bah.

i cant believe the weekend is almost over. lastnite us girls watched pretty woman. apparently ali was supposed to come over bcoz he wanted to watch love actually, but he doesnt wanna watch it alone bcoz i quote 'gay jua tu'. the guy is so self conscious. anyhoo, pretty woman was goood. it was my first time watching the move that shot julia roberts to fame. so now i see why. she was so cute like nite, rasa mcm kan ku gigit. oh and we also wtached coleen's real women during dinner. it was a repeat from thursday i tink but yea. nya nisah 'c rabz tehibur uleh accent nya.' coz coleen's liverpudlian. the way she says black becomes blahck and i find that funny. and girls become gels. but ive done most of my work and there are no live lectures for obs2 next week. so next week will be a pretty laid back week. hurraayy!

much love,
be'ah xxx

p/s i went to bed earlier than the rest bcoz they wanted to tengok cerita hantu. this morning i woke up, the hall lights were still on. i wonder what happened last nite.. or maybe it was just a momentarily laspse of memory to switch it off. haha